| Status | complete |
| Tags | f/f, d/s, d/s-verse |
| Warnings | past abuse |
"You're still here, Reyes?"
Lily looked up from the document she'd been staring at and blinked, trying to get her eyes to refocus. Devon, her manager, swam into view. He raised an eyebrow. She shook her head slightly, leaned backwards in her chair, stretched, and smoothed her rumpled skirt and blouse. Her shoes were... somewhere around here. She must've kicked them off but couldn't remember where.
He looked around the small office she shared with another junior attorney, taking in the snowdrift of paper scattered across her desk, the cold half-eaten container of takeout food, the... seven? empty coffee cups. Lily cringed slightly, but his answering look was all sympathy.
"Go home, Reyes," he said. She stiffened slightly and sat up a little bit straighter in her chair, tamping down a sudden spark of irritation.
"I can decide for myself when to -", she started, but he held up a hand in a conciliatory gesture.
"I know you can. I'm not trying to order you around, Lily. I'm just... look, how long do you have left on discovery?"
She checked her watch. "Ninety-three hours."
He stepped into the office, borrowed her officemate's chair and sat across from her. "Wouldn't it be better if you went home, slept for a while, and came back rested?"
Lily glared at him.
He pressed on regardless: "Ninety-three exhausted hours, or eighty-one rested hours? Which one gets the job done?"
She clenched her fists, frustrated with herself. "Eighty-one rested hours," she admitted.
He nodded. "It's your decision, and when I was your age I might've done what you're thinking about doing, but take it from an old hand: sleep matters."
She gave him a small, grim smile. That was the kind of thing that was easy to say from the top but that she found difficult to hear from the bottom. Still, she appreciated that he was trying to look out for her. "I'll think about it," she said, not wanting to concede.
"Good enough," he replied, but stayed sitting, looking thoughtful.
There was a soft knock on the doorframe. Lily looked up and saw Maple, one of the support staff, and gave her a warm smile. Maple was in her early fifties, Lily thought, and immaculate in her usual work uniform: an extremely (Lily would even have said excessively) modest dress in charcoal grey, with a matching grey cloth covering her hair. Mark Sterling wasn't a traditional enough firm to have a dress code, even for support staff, but Lily had never seen Maple wearing anything else. The sole splash of color in her outfit was the collar she wore - a pale green that matched her eyes.
"Come in, Maple," Lily said.
Maple bowed her head, entered, and silently gathered the cups, the takeout container, and some packaging material Lily had left strewn around the room. That done, she asked:
"Anything I can get for you, ma'am? Or sir?"
Devon shook his head. "I'm alright, thank you Maple."
Maple nodded. "Another coffee, ma'am?"
Lily felt Devon's eyes on her.
"No thank you, Maple. I think I'll call it a night here. I appreciate you asking, though."
Maple beamed at her. "Of course. Have a good night."
Lily watched Maple leave, gave Devon another look, then stood and started gathering her things.
Lily stomped into her apartment and flipped on the lights. She looked around, disgusted with how messy her space was, but she was too tired to do anything about it right now. She put her purse down on on her couch, wandered into her kitchen, and reheated some leftovers for dinner. She ate without thinking, staring blankly at the wall of her apartment, then stripped off and fell into bed.
She was just about to fall asleep when her phone started buzzing. Grumbling, she picked it up off her bedside table, praying it wasn't something urgent from work, and then groaned when she saw the display: "Mom".
She briefly considered ignoring the call, or simply turning off her phone, but she already knew what would happen. If she ignored the call her mother would call again, and if she ignored too many calls, her mother would show up at her apartment, demanding to know what was happening. She let out a frustrated breath, lifted the phone to her ear, and accepted the call, lying on her back and staring at the ceiling.
"Mom," she said, by way of greeting.
"Lily," he mother replied. There was an awkward silence, while each of them waited for the other to speak.
Lily rolled her eyes. "Mom, it's late. Why are you calling me?"
Her mom laughed. "I need a reason to talk to my youngest daughter?"
Lily didn't reply to that.
"Anyway," her mom said, "I was actually calling because I've found you a submissive."
Lily winced and dragged herself into a sitting position. "You did?", she said, trying not to sound as skeptical as she felt.
"I know you've been needing one for a long time," her mom went on. "You're getting to the age where you should be, you know, settling down."
Lily groaned.
"Mom, I can handle my own dating life, thank you."
"You'll excuse me for doubting that, dear, given that you're turning 30 soon and I still have yet to meet a single prospect. Anyway, he's a son of a friend of your father's. I've met him - very well-mannered, impeccably trained in the proper style. I'm sure he'd make you very happy."
"That's okay, Mom, I'm not really -"
Her mom simply continued, as though she hadn't spoken at all: "Are you free on Friday evening for dinner with him?"
"Mom!", Lily snapped. "I do not need your help with this."
She heard her mom's weary sigh from the other end of the line.
"I only have your happiness in mind," she said, sounding slightly offended.
Lily decided not to get into the discussion of exactly whose happiness her mom had in mind right now. Instead, she said: "Goodnight, mother."
And hung up.
Shay pulled herself upright, blinking sleep out of her eyes, and silenced her alarm. She stretched quickly, laid out her uniform for the day on her bed, then stepped into the tiny shower attached to her room. She let the hot water wash over her while she thought through her list of tasks for the day. A grocery delivery was expected, so she had to make sure she was available to receive that, and there was always cleaning to do when she wasn't occupied with attending to her Sir. Absently, she lifted her collar slightly to clean the skin underneath, eyes unfocused and staring at the tiled wall.
Once she had dressed and braided her hair, she checked the clock again: 5:47. Perfect; she had ten minutes or so before her Sir would expect breakfast. She made her way to the kitchen, thanked the cook, and picked up the tray. Her Sir would be rising in a few minutes and he preferred to receive his breakfast in his bedroom. Shay entered soundlessly. Her Sir - already up and dressed, apparently - looked up from his desk, gave her a curt nod, then looked back down at his work. Shay set the tray down on a small table, curtseyed (even though he wasn't looking), and withdrew.
Outside her Sir's bedroom, she took a moment to lean against the wall and gently touched her collar, soothing herself. Her Sir was an enormous believer in the importance of discipline, but she knew that apart from that, he preferred for Shay and his other submissives to be silent and largely unseen - except for Marie, of course, who often shared his bed. Shay briefly looked back at his bedroom door, and the wild thought entered her mind that perhaps she should misbehave deliberately. She banished it quickly, but the fact that she'd thought of it at all concerned her. She was supposed to know better than such childishness.
With a sigh, she smoothed her skirt, collected herself, and set about the rest of her assigned tasks.
That evening, after Shay had served her Sir dinner and eaten her own (not with him, sadly), her bracelet buzzed, summoning her back to his bedroom. She tensed and briefly checked her appearance in the mirror in her tiny bathroom. Tired, but still fine, she judged, and in any case there wasn't really time for anything else. She hurried to his bedroom, knocked, and waited respectfully outside.
"Enter," he said.
She pulled the door open. He remained at his desk, cooling cup of tea that she'd delivered half an hour ago still sitting there. He looked up when she entered, put his tablet down, and gestured for her to kneel by him. She did so immediately, settled herself, and allowed herself a brief, longing look at his hands. Her Sir was never much for affection, but maybe him asking for her to come close would mean...
She shoved that thought away. It was not hers to wish for anything more than what he decided to give. She remembered one of her instructors repeating that, over and over, having her classes recite the mantra at the beginning and end of every lesson.
He looked at her, seeming vaguely uncomfortable. She waited, eyes cast down. "I've decided to pass you on," he said, finally.
Shay was stunned. Had she not done well? Why would - why would he...? She felt tears prickling at the corners of her eyes and dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands, trying to contain the unseemly emotion.
"Y-yes Sir," she said, voice unsteady.
"Gather your things," he said, "and wait by the servants' entrance."
She waited on her knees, feeling unable to move.
He raised an eyebrow. Clearly he was done speaking.
Shay slowly got to her feet, feeling dazed. Her training reasserted itself a bit and she curtseyed, then slowly withdrew from the room. It wouldn't be her first time being passed to another dominant, but if she worked hard and did her best, maybe this time it would be the last. She was always theoretically allowed to refuse, of course - just as she could always leave her current Sir if she felt so inclined - but a lifetime spent in service had left her unprepared for anything else, and in any case, where could she go?
As she crossed the threshold, she heard her Sir speak for what would be the final time:
"Goodbye, Shay."
Lily rang the doorbell and waited. She felt fresher than she had in weeks after a good night's sleep, and as she'd been starting to look at her long-neglected personal inbox, she'd found an unread email from Evelyn, one of her best friends, inviting her over for a quick coffee before work. In a rare sociable mood, she'd replied, and Evelyn had insisted she visit that very morning, before she (as Evelyn put it) "vanished without a trace into the legal profession again". Lily had shown up slightly early, carrying apology cookies from her favorite bakery.
Max, Evelyn's submissive, opened the door and gave Lily a warm smile. Since Lily had last visited, their hair (cropped short and extravagantly styled) seemed to have been recolored from the previous bright pink to a rather garish turquoise, and their collar updated to match. The look was... striking. Max opened their arms, and Lily gladly took the offered hug.
"It's so good to see you," Max gushed. "Evelyn's just finishing in the shower. Can I take your coat?"
Lily shrugged out of it and handed it over, along with the box of cookies.
As Max hung it in the closet, they asked: "You still take your coffee black, right?"
Lily nodded. "As strong as you can make it."
Max grinned. "One midnight-black coffee, coming right up."
Lily went into the living room of the apartment Evelyn and Max shared and curled up on one end of the couch. She could hear Max humming gently in the kitchen as they worked and Evelyn dressing in her bedroom. She sighed quietly to herself, looking around the apartment. The decor was still all Evelyn - movie posters for cult 70s classics, bright colors, visual clutter. It wasn't Lily's style, but it fit her best friend perfectly.
Evelyn came out into the living room, dressed in sweatpants and a tshirt, hair still wrapped in a towel. She leaned down to hug Lily, then took a place at the other end of the couch. Just then, Max emerged from the kitchen, carrying two cups of coffee. They handed one cup to each of the women (blushing when both Lily and Evelyn thanked them for it), then settled cross-legged on the floor by Evelyn's feet. Evelyn sipped her coffee, absently running fingers through Max's hair, and her sub closed their eyes and leaned into her.
Lily sat for a moment, enjoying the comfortable silence of spending time with her old friends. She and Evelyn had met in high school, fallen out of touch when they'd both gone off to separate universities, and then reconnected when they realized they'd ended up living only a few blocks apart. While at university, Evelyn had met Max, and the two of them had been inseparable ever since. Their relationship was certainly not particularly traditional, but Lily had had about all the tradition she cared to deal with in her life anyway, and she had never met a couple more obviously perfect for each other. Watching their easy affection with one another, the casual trust and devotion that passed between them, made Lily's heart ache sometimes. She hoped that some day she would find someone she felt that way about.
After they had caught up on each other's lives, Lily mentioned the conversation she'd had with her mother the previous night. Evelyn rolled her eyes and commiserated.
"She said she was going to set you up on a date? What year does she think it is?"
Lily laughed. "I'm not sure she's even heard of Collr before," she said.
"And 'impeccably trained'! My God. Max, honey, do you think Lily's mom would say you're impeccably trained?"
Max laughed as well. "I'm not sure she'd be able to get past my look long enough to really take in my attitude."
Evelyn's gaze softened, and Lily saw her gently scratching the back of Max's neck.
"I love your attitude," she said.
"You love my look, too," Max retorted.
"It helps that I get to pick the color."
Lily smiled, heart warm and full. She drained the last of her mug of coffee.
"I'd better get to work," she said.
Evelyn looked at her fondly. "I was waiting for that."
Lily shrugged.
"Stay in touch more, okay?"
"I will," said Lily, and stood to leave.
Lily was sitting in one of the Mark Sterling office's common areas, deeply immersed in work, sifting (on her tablet, thankfully) through a pile of disorderly documentation provided by the opposing counsel. The case she was working on was some kind of multi-million-dollar patent infringement suit between two huge companies, which meant reams and reams of paperwork and very little of any interest. She became slowly aware of someone standing near her, and when she looked up, she saw Maple waiting, hands clasped behind her back.
"Maple?", she asked.
"I didn't want to interrupt," she said, blushing slightly. "You looked like you were focusing. Can I, um, get you anything, ma'am?"
Lily shook her head. Maple bowed her head and turned to leave, but then a thought struck Lily.
"Actually, Maple? Can I talk to you about something?"
Maple turned. Lily could see traces of unease in her face, although the older woman hid them well. Lily stayed sitting, keeping her body relaxed and open, and Maple took the seat opposite her, sweeping her long dress underneath herself.
"Sure, ma'am," Maple said, not quite meeting Lily's eyes.
"It's nothing bad," Lily reassured her. "I just - well, you have a pretty happy home life, don't you?"
Maple gave her a confused look, and Lily could almost see her wondering where this line of questioning was going. She was suddenly keenly aware that this conversation, or one like it, happened at the beginning of any number of trashy romance novels - the dashing, caring dom meets the poor unhappy sub, rescues her, happily ever after, and so on. She hadn't thought through that implication before asking, and now she winced, hoping Maple wouldn't interpret her question that way.
"I - yes, ma'am," said Maple, slowly.
Lily gave her a smile she hoped was warm while she gathered her own thoughts.
Eventually, she said: "How did you meet?"
She saw the other woman's tension ease instantly, and she felt a gentle warmth in her own chest in response. It wasn't that she had any specific feelings towards Maple, but having a sub - any sub - so obviously feel safer around her inevitably felt good.
Maple leaned back into the chair, laying her hands in her lap.
"It's going to sound old-fashioned," she said.
Lily grinned. "Sort of what I expected."
Maple gave her a small smile.
"Back when I was young," Maple said, "we didn't - well, it was like you got chosen by someone, and that's who you were with, and so you had better do your best to like them. The classes we had were all about... well, about that. There wasn't any of the stuff about relationships that they teach people these days."
Lily could see that Maple's hands had closed into fists - could read the tension in the muscles of her forearms, now.
"Anyway, he - he picked me while we were teenagers, and we were bonded not long after that. I..."
Maple's voice broke a little bit, and Lily, without even thinking, reached out and offered her a hand. Maple took it in one of her own and squeezed. She rewarded the small gesture of trust with an encouraging smile and stroked the back of Maple's hand.
"I did my best," Maple said. "But it was never enough for him. He was always so disappointed in me, and I tried to learn what he wanted, to do it better, but it always seemed to be wrong. I don't know."
She trailed off for a second, and Lily squeezed her hand gently, watching her face.
"Anyway," Maple said, "I just... I just thought that's how things were supposed to be, I guess. It feels silly when I say it now but back when I was young people talked a lot about how submission was about giving, and so I gave and gave and..."
Maple's knuckles were white, and Lily saw decades of pain written there.
"When I turned forty," she said, "I started going to church again. I'd always gone when I was a little girl, and I had these happy memories. My... my dominant at the time didn't like me leaving the house except for work, but he made an exception so I could go to services."
Lily waited, leaving more room for Maple to speak.
"She was the leader of my choir section," Maple said, quietly. "She just... she made me feel so warm, so cared about. It got so seeing her every week was the only thing I ever looked forward to. We got to know each other a bit better, and after maybe a year of knowing each other, she asked me if I wanted to live with her and her husband. I, um, I tried to ask my dominant for his permission to leave."
Lily could see Maple was trembling slightly. She squeezed her hand again, keeping her own body language as calm and confident as she could, even though she could feel her own anger rising. Maple was one of the kindest, gentlest people that she knew, and the idea of her being treated like that...
Maple swallowed. "He was very angry. Um. He... he hadn't ever really hurt me, before then. Of course he'd punished me, but never like... never like that. He told me I was never to see her again and I just, I just couldn't bear it."
Lily fought down the almost overpowering urge to move closer to Maple, to put an arm around her and hold her close.
"I - I waited until he was asleep, that night, and then I just... I left. I only realized after I was outside that I had no idea where she lived, so I went to the church. Our minister was there, and he let me stay there for the night, and then she - she came to get me and took me home."
Maple was obviously close to tears, but she finished:
"That was about nine years ago."
Maple sniffled, looked at Lily, and met her eye for a moment.
"Sorry," she said. "That was more than I meant to say."
"It's alright," Lily said, still rubbing the back of Maple's hand. "I'd been meaning to ask anyway."
Maple gave her a slightly puzzled look.
"Isn't that a thing friends do?", Lily teased.
"We're friends?" Maple sounded genuinely shocked.
"If we want to be," Lily replied, fighting down a feeling of dismay.
"I'd like that," Maple said, giving Lily a warm smile.
"Friends, then," Lily said.
"Does this mean you're going to tell me how you met your... your submissive?"
Lily frowned. "There's not much to tell there. I don't have a sub."
"Oh," said Maple. "Do you not want one?"
"I do, it's just... it's a long story. My mom has some very traditional ideas about what that means and that makes it hard to know what I really want."
Maple nodded. "I hope you figure it out."
Lily gave her a smile and let go of her hand. Maple straightened slightly in her chair, then stood up.
"I'd best be about my duties," she said, rather formally. "By your leave, ma'am?"
Lily almost laughed. "See you, Maple."
"And you, Lily."
"Evening, ma'am!"
Lily gave Oscar, her apartment building's front-desk attendant, a warm smile, which he returned. He looked down at his desk, searching for something.
"Oh yes," he said. "Your mom dropped by earlier, according to the visitor log."
"Oh no," Lily said, blood suddenly cold. "Does it say what for?"
"It says she was delivering a present."
Lily decided not to wait for the elevator.
Shay had no idea how long she'd been kneeling in the darkness. Her knees were aching. She thought again about getting up to fetch a pillow from the couch to kneel on, but the woman had said her daughter would be back any second, and she desperately wanted to make a good first impression. She stiffened, trying to focus on her breathing. Back straight, head bowed, eyes down, hands clasped behind her back, knees shoulder-width apart - she could almost hear Miss Adler, one of her first instructors, repeating the points of proper posture.
Her breath caught as she heard someone approaching the apartment door, and she felt herself tense. She whispered a silent prayer that her new dominant would find her acceptable. The woman (Miss Reyes, she supposed, although wouldn't her daughter also be called that?) had said that both she and her daughter expected a very high standard of behavior and service. She had also mentioned that if her daughter found her unacceptable, she would be reclaiming her for herself, and in the few days she had stayed in the older woman's house, Shay had seen and experienced enough to know that she wanted to avoid that.
The lock clicked and the apartment door swung open. The sudden light from the hallway was blinding, and in any case Shay wasn't supposed to look up, so she stared at the floor. Her new domme apparently wore tennis shoes.
Shay had experienced many first greetings from dominants, in her time, ranging from "Hello, pet" through to "On the bed, whore." She had not yet experienced a breathless, angry "FUCK!", but apparently there was a first time for everything.
She knelt silently, trying not to tremble. Her new dominant was angry, obviously with her, and she'd - she hadn't even had a chance to do anything yet! She bowed her head further, curling in on herself, and tried to keep tears out of her eyes.
"Fuck," her new domme said again, more quietly. "Mom. Fuck."
Shay cringed, waiting for the woman's anger to turn on her.
She heard the other woman exhale sharply, then she squatted down next to Shay.
"Hey," she said, voice a lot softer. Shay kept quiet, still focusing on keeping herself from crying. What was she supposed to do now?
"Can you look at me?"
An order. That, Shay could do. She lifted her gaze to look at the woman's face. Despite her earlier outburst, she looked calm - even smiling, a little bit. The other woman laid a gentle hand on Shay's shoulder and stroked lightly.
"Good," she said. "Come sit on the couch with me?"
"Yes ma'am," Shay said, hearing her own voice shake a bit and hating herself for it. The other woman offered her a hand and helped her to her feet. Shay winced as she stood and the woman, evidently paying close attention to her, noticed.
"Were you kneeling long?"
Shay hesitated. "I don't know, ma'am."
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw one of the woman's hands clench into a fist for a moment. "Goddamn it, mom," she breathed, anger shading her voice again.
She must've seen the fright on Shay's face, because her expression softened again.
"I'm not angry with you," she said. "Sorry."
Shay tried to give her a smile but didn't feel like she had succeeded.
"Here," the woman said. "Sit with me."
She led Shay over to the couch, indicated a place to sit, and sat down next to her.
There was one of the most awkward silences that Shay had ever experienced in her life.
Eventually, the other woman spoke: "Are you hungry or thirsty?"
Shay was torn between telling the truth and trying to be the best submissive she could be. She really did want this woman to want to keep her, but... something in her gaze made Shay want to be truthful.
"Yes, ma'am," she nodded.
"You stay here," the woman said, getting up. She left Shay alone for a couple of minutes, during which she sat silently, hands folded in her lap, and tried to figure out what was going on. She had not succeeded by the time her new domme returned, carrying a large tumbler of water and a plate of buttered toast.
"Sorry, I don't have a whole lot of... things to eat, but hopefully this will help."
She set the plate down on the table in front of Shay. Shay looked down at her own hands, twisted in her lap.
"Oh, yes," the woman said, as though just now realizing. "You may eat."
As Shay started to eat, the woman lightly touched her shoulder again.
"Do you have a name?"
Shay swallowed a mouthful of toast.
"Shay, ma'am."
"I'm Lily," the woman said. Shay etched the name into her memory. A lily was a flower, wasn't it? She tried to remember what they looked like.
After Shay had finished eating and drinking, she sat silently, unsure what to do. She wanted to clear and wash the dishes, but she'd been told to sit on the couch. Miss Lily seemed lost in thought, although her hand continued to rest on Shay's shoulder. She found the very light touch comforting, and felt the gnawing tension in her body that had been building over the past week start to ease slightly.
Miss Lily spoke quietly: "My mom brought you here?"
Shay nodded, eyes down. She had never been a gift before, but she was deeply familiar with the feeling of being unwanted, and she felt her own anxiety rising again. She tried to steel herself for the woman to tell her she was going to be sent back. Whatever happened, she promised herself, she would not cry.
Instead, the woman said: "I'm sorry."
Shay's confusion must have been obvious.
"I didn't..." the woman swallowed. "I didn't want a submissive. Not like this. I'm..." she trailed off and sighed heavily. Shay dug her fingertips into her own thighs to hold back her tears. It shouldn't still hurt, after all these years, to be unwanted, but she just couldn't seem to stop wanting to belong. Acid guilt ate at her when she realized she had been wanting something not offered to her.
Miss Lily touched her chin with two gentle fingertips, nudging her to raise her head. The other woman looked sad, but as Shay watched, an expression of determination came over her. Against all odds, the other woman grinned at her.
"You can stay," she said.
Lily gave Shay the spare bedroom in her apartment to stay in, clearing some clutter off the top of the bed. It was shamefully dusty, and she had blushed furiously when she realized what a state it was in, but it would have to do for now. Shay had a single small bag with her, containing a couple of changes of clothes and some toiletries, but no documents at all. Surely she must have some ID? Lily made a mental note to ask her mother about that, once she felt like speaking to her at all.
Lily had her sit on the bed, then crouched in front of her, bringing herself to Shay's height.
"Can you try to sleep? We'll talk tomorrow, but it's late and I just can't right now."
"Yes Ma'am," Shay said.
Lily smiled at her. "The bathroom is next door, and if you need me, my bedroom is at the end of the hallway. Got that?"
Shay nodded. "Yes Ma'am."
"Sleep well," Lily said, turning out the light on her way out of the room.
As soon as she was back in her own bedroom, Lily grabbed her phone and texted Evelyn.
Lily sent Devon an email telling him she had a family situation to deal with and wouldn't be in tomorrow and could he please find it in the goodness of his heart to cover her somehow, then put her phone down on her nightstand, rolled onto her back, and sighed loudly. She couldn't believe what her mother had done, but she was also kind of feeling guilty (and a little angry with herself) for her impulsiveness earlier. The urge to reassure Shay had just felt so strong, and she'd been tired, and... she bit her lip. Whatever the reasons, she'd done it, and she owed it to the other woman to make the best of it for both of them.
She laid in bed for about ten sleepless minutes, then got up and padded down the hallway to the kitchen for some late-night chocolate, which she felt she fully deserved given the circumstances. On her way back to her bedroom, she stopped for a moment outside the guest room. She heard what was unmistakably the sound of Shay trying to cry quietly enough not to be heard. Lily felt her heart clench, and almost of her own accord she found herself reaching for the door handle, but then she froze, stiffened, and forced herself to walk back to her bedroom.
Lily hated fighting her own biology more than almost anything. There was something about a distressed sub that reached deep into her brainstem, bypassing every conscious process. It would have been the easiest thing in the world - would have felt more right than anything else on Earth, in the moment - to let herself into Shay's room, sit with her, comfort her. Lily sat on the edge of her bed, reflecting on what had stopped her. More than anything else, she realized, it was fear. She was afraid of letting the other woman down, of promising her (even implicitly) more than Lily could truly give. Even more so, she was afraid of... of imposing herself. Shay might not want Lily's comfort, but Lily knew already that the other woman would never tell her so.
Lily smacked a fist against one of her pillows in frustration. Damn her mother for this. She curled up on her side and tried to fall asleep.
The next morning, Lily rose early, showered, dressed, and started heating water for coffee. She saw that the light in Shay's room was on, so she knocked gently on the door.
"Yes Ma'am?"
Lily pushed the door open but stayed in the hallway. "Are you a tea person or a coffee person?"
"Ma'am?"
"Do you prefer tea or coffee, Shay? It's not a test."
"Tea, ma'am," she said, after a brief pause.
Lily smiled and thanked her.
"I want you to come sit at the table with me so we can talk, okay?"
Shay nodded, not looking at Lily.
Lily made Shay a mug of black tea, brewed her own coffee, and sat down across from her. The woman looked miserable. Lily leaned forward a bit and offered her one of her hands, palm up. Shay looked up for a moment, looked at her hand, and cautiously took it in one of her own. Lily squeezed gently, then held the other woman's hand in hers, loosely enough that she could withdraw if she wanted to.
"I meant what I said last night," Lily said, finally. She'd spent almost an hour this morning trying to plan out how to have this conversation and she still didn't feel confident, but she did her best to project confidence anyway.
Shay raised her head and looked up at her, and Lily gave her a smile.
"You can stay with me if you want," she went on, "but if you do want to stay we need to talk about some things. If you don't want to stay, that's - that's okay too, I can try to help you find somewhere to go."
As she finished saying the last sentence she was already regretting it. She'd felt obligated to, but the hurt that passed across Shay's face was unmistakable.
"Whatever you please, ma'am," the sub said, quietly.
Lily squeezed her hand, thinking. Unbidden, a memory of one of her high school teachers came to mind: old Ms. Williams, the grey-haired domme who treated every student, dom, sub, switch and neutral alike, as though they were her own children. She'd had a saying that Lily had never forgotten: "When things are uncertain, offer structure." Lily sat up straighter in her chair.
"What I please is for you to stay with me."
She studied Shay's face intently, saw the tiny signs of anxiety bleeding away. That didn't necessarily mean she had made the right decision - just that Shay was more comfortable with any decision than none. Well, there was nothing for that - Lily went on.
"And while you are staying with me, I would like to lay down some rules for the two of us. I want you to listen carefully and if anything doesn't make sense I want you to ask about it. Do you understand?"
"Yes, ma'am," Shay said. She picked up the tea with her other hand to take a sip.
Lily picked up a pen and a pad of writing paper. "I'm going to write them down as we go," she explained.
"Yes, ma'am."
Lily wrote in block capitals at the top of the page: "HOUSE RULES"
"First rule," she said. "We tell each other the truth. Even if it's hard. Do you understand?"
Shay nodded.
"It isn't the same," Lily said, "as just not lying. Do you know why?"
Shay nodded again.
"Explain it to me," Lily said, keeping her voice gentle rather than commanding.
"It - it means... telling the truth even when you didn't ask?"
"Good!", Lily said. "Exactly."
Shay blushed and Lily thought she saw a hint of a smile. Lily squeezed her hand and wrote "WE TELL THE TRUTH" across the paper.
"Second rule," she went on. "We take care of ourselves. Do you understand?"
Shay hesitated, then shook her head.
"Thank you for being honest," Lily said. "It means that if you're hungry, you eat, and if you're thirsty, you drink, and if you're tired, you sleep. This rule means you're always allowed to do those things. Does that make sense?"
Shay nodded, but Lily could see that she still didn't understand something. She waited, watching Shay's face.
"Why - why does it say 'we'?"
Lily smiled. "Dommes need food and water too."
"But you don't need..."
"Don't need rules?"
Shay nodded.
"I guess I don't, but I can definitely use reminders."
Shay seemed satisfied with that, so Lily wrote: "WE TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES"
"Third rule," she said. "Important one. We take care of each other. Do you understand?"
This time, Shay shook her head without hestitation.
Lily smiled at her and squeezed her hand. "It means when one of us can help the other, we do - and it means that we try to ask each other for help when we need it. Do you think you can do that?"
There was a silence.
"N - I don't think so, Ma'am, I'm sorry," Shay said, voice small.
"I want you to try your best anyway, okay?"
"Yes, ma'am."
Lily wrote: "WE TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER".
"That's it," she said, standing and attaching the page to her fridge with a magnet.
Shay looked up at the fridge, at the bare four lines of text on the page.
"That's it?"
Lily nodded. "Everything else comes from those. If you're not sure what to do, you can just look at them."
Shay's gaze was fixed on the fridge, but she slowly turned to Lily with something like wonder on her face.
"What about - when do I eat?"
Lily pointed at the second rule. "When you need to."
"But when do I serve you?"
Lily pointed at the third rule. "When I need help."
Shay looked uncomfortable. "What if I'm wrong, though?"
Lily pointed at the first rule. "I'll tell you."
Shay was surprised that, after they had finished their conversation, Miss Lily wasn't going to work. She had expected to be left to her own devices - probably ordered to clean or prepare dinner or something, but otherwise left alone during the day. Instead, after Miss Lily had finished her coffee and Shay had drunk some of her tea, the other woman told her to get dressed to go out. Shay did her best to make herself presentable, not wanting to embarrass Miss Lily.
Outside, Miss Lily led her to a small cafe, where she asked the host for an out-of-the-way table for the two of them. Shay stared at the provided menu, intimidated by the dozens of options. Miss Lily looked up from her own menu and read her face.
"Is it alright if I order for you?", she said, voice gentle.
Shay nodded, twisting her hands together in her lap. The other woman smiled at her.
A server appeared, seemingly out of nowhere.
"What can I get for you two ladies?"
Miss Lily took Shay's menu and offered both of them to the server. "I'll have a ham and swiss croissant, and she'll have the oatmeal with fresh fruit, and if we could get a black coffee for me and a black tea for her, that would be great."
"Of course! The food will just be a minute, and I'll be right back with those drinks."
With that the server vanished again.
Shay swallowed, suddenly nervous. She felt that she was supposed to be entertaining somehow, but she had no idea what to say. The times when she'd been asked specifically to eat with her dominants - few and far between - she'd been there primarily to look pretty and be charming. Miss Lily didn't seem like she wanted that, though. She was watching Shay intently, as though waiting for her to do something, but Shay couldn't figure out what it could be.
She remembered Miss Lily's first rule. "I don't know what you want me to do," she said.
Miss Lily gave her another smile, took one of her hands, and squeezed it gently. Shay felt a flicker of warmth in her chest at the affectionate gesture, felt her own tension ease slightly.
"For now," she said. "I want you to eat. After that, we're going to get you some clothes and such, and then we're going to get groceries. Does that sound good?"
Shay nodded.
Miss Lily's gaze softened a bit. "Thank you for telling me you were feeling uncertain."
Shay nodded again. "Yes, ma'am," she said.
The server returned with her tea and Miss Lily's coffee, then a minute later with their food. Miss Lily picked up her croissant right away and started eating, but between bites she asked:
"What would you like to do today, Shay? Don't answer now - think about it, and tell me after you're finished."
Shay cringed. She knew what she was supposed to say, which was "whatever pleases you, Miss Lily", but she knew that paradoxically that was not what Miss Lily wanted to hear. She stared down at her partly-eaten oatmeal, trying to think. Miss Lily ate the rest of her croissant quietly, seemingly studying her, and Shay blushed a little bit to be the focus of such attention.
Shay finished her oatmeal, put the spoon down, and suddenly knew what to say.
"A park."
Miss Lily replied: "Can you look at me while you're talking, Shay?"
She did her best to do so. "A park," she repeated.
The other woman gave her an encouraging smile. "Say it as a whole sentence," she said.
"Can we go to a park please, ma'am?"
Miss Lily's grin lit the entire restaurant. "We sure can," she said.
Shay had offered to carry both the clothes and the groceries, which Lily appreciated but only partly accepted. Shay now owned several plain skirts and blouses, more than two sets of underwear, and actual socks, which she had seemed vaguely puzzled by - Lily supposed she was used to either being barefoot or wearing high heeled shoes. Lily led the way back to her apartment, where she put the groceries away while Shay folded her new clothes. The experience of actually having groceries was somewhat new for Lily, since she tended to either not eat, or to have food prepared for her by others and delivered. It was one of the many things that bothered her about herself - she knew that she should be feeding herself better, but it was difficult to find the time or energy.
She sighed, pulling a takeout container out of the fridge, which turned out to be empty. Why had she put an empty container back in the fridge in the first place? Grimacing, she rinsed it out and tossed it into the recycling, making space in the fridge for actual new food.
When she was done, she went to check in on Shay, who was still in her room. The other woman was kneeling by the door, head bowed. Lily saw a single bag by the door, into which all the other bags and packaging for her clothing had been neatly folded. She almost asked Shay to stop kneeling, but there was something that tugged at her heart. Instead, she stepped into the room, letting her fingertips gently touch the top of Shay's head for a moment, and walked over to the closet. She pulled it open, and saw all of Shay's new clothes neatly folded and stored, blouses and jacket hanging in a neat row. She shut the closet again, walked back over to Shay, and stroked her hair gently.
"Good work," she said. Shay tilted her head slightly, pressing into Lily's hand, and Lily smiled down at her. The feeling of having set Shay a task, and having the other woman complete it so well and then wait for her to check her work and approve, was a heady one and Lily had to stop herself from taking a firmer hold of the sub and pulling her closer. Instead, she gave Shay's hair one last lingering touch.
"One more thing for us to do," she said, "and then the park."
Shay nodded. "Now, ma'am?"
"Yep. Shoes back on, we're going out again."
Shay got to her feet, and Lily saw that she was blushing bright red. She turned a little bit away from Lily, which would not do - Lily laid a hand on her shoulder to stop her.
"Are you feeling okay, Shay? Was that alright?"
Shay nodded enthusiastically. "Oh, yes, ma'am. Thank you."
Lily could hear the plain sincerity in her voice - could sense, in Shay's body language and tone, that she had deeply meant it - and she felt pleasant warmth curl in her stomach.
"I'm glad," she said. "Come on, let's go."
Lily's final task was to get Shay a phone. She wouldn't be able to stay home with her, and the idea of Shay needing her and not being able to get ahold of her bothered her in a way she chose not to inspect too closely. Unfortunately, Shay didn't actually have any identification, which was proving to be a problem.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, we have to check ID for new signups. If you'd like I can hold the phone for you until you return, so you can make sure your girl gets the exact one you want?"
Lily blinked at hearing Shay thus described. She blushed, not really sure how to respond - she didn't want to reject Shay by correcting him, especially in public, but Shay also didn't belong to her and she didn't want Shay to think she already did.
She settled for: "I haven't claimed her." That sounded right: not accepting something that wasn't there, but not foreclosing the possibility that something could be there later. More importantly than it sounding right, she realized, it was actually the truth in her heart: that while she wasn't ready to take Shay as her own, she was increasingly confident that it was something she was interested in exploring.
"Oh, my mistake. I'm sorry ma'am," the salesman said.
"Is there anything we can do? I do want her to be able to get in touch with me if she needs to."
She saw the salesman tense slightly, uncomfortable. She took a small deliberate step back and folded her own hands behind her back, giving the man a bit more distance, making herself less present. She was conscious of Shay watching her curiously.
He gave her a small smile and a slight bow of the head. "Would another line on your own plan work, ma'am? You can add those for anyone you like, since your own ID is already on file."
"That would be lovely, thank you," she replied.
He typed away at his computer for a couple of minutes, then gave Shay a short, sidelong look before addressing Lily again.
"Will you be wanting any - ah, monitoring on the new line, ma'am?"
"What do you mean?"
"If you'd like, we can notify you of incoming calls, texts, internet usage, that sort of thing."
Lily shook her head. She could swear she saw a tiny approving nod from the salesman, although it could have been her imagination.
"Very well, ma'am," he said, handing her the boxed phone, along with the case Shay had picked out (a galaxies-and-stars motif that Lily had been surprised by). "Thank you for choosing us."
Shay didn't know the area at all, and Lily hadn't been to a park in ages, so Lily took her to sit on a bench and asked Shay to find one using her new phone. It took her a few minutes - while she was by no means stupid, it was also obvious to Lily that she'd only ever seen a smartphone used, never used one herself - but eventually she pointed to a rectangle of green on a map of the nearby area.
"Good work," Lily said, which made Shay blush. Lily decided that she liked making her blush. She took the other woman's hand and squeezed it gently, then they wandered to the park, both staring down at Shay's new phone.
The park turned out to be more of a public lawn, with a curtain of trees planted around the edge, but largely open in the middle, crisscrossed by walking paths but mostly divided up into sports fields. Lily led Shay to a comfortable-looking tree, and they sat together. Shay held her new phone in her lap in both hands, seeming uncertain.
Lily asked: "Is this the kind of park you had in mind?"
Shay nodded. "Yes, ma'am," she said.
Lily looked at Shay's face, followed her gaze - she was staring at a knot of school children making their way through the park, shepherded by a pair of teachers and a trio of aides. Lily looked back at Shay. The sunlight brightened her features a bit and made her eyes shine, and Lily felt her own desire to be closer to Shay, to touch and comfort and hold her.
She leaned back against the tree, enjoying the fresh air and sun. Why had it been so long since she'd gone to a park, anyway? She knew she wasn't particularly good at making time for herself, but still. She should work on that.
"Shay?"
Shay turned her head, taking her gaze off the schoolchildren, who were now playing a chaotic game of some kind involving colorful balls and flags.
"Yes, ma'am?"
"If you want to, you can sit closer to me. If not, that's okay too."
Lily meant it, but she also admitted to herself which response she was hoping for.
Shay scooted sideways, leaned her head on Lily's chest. Lily wrapped one arm around her, and her heart sang.
Shay laid with her head resting on Miss Lily's chest, curled into her side, with the other woman's arm around her. She felt a tension easing in her chest that had been there so long she had ceased to recognize it - a tightness that had become a part of who she was, which she realized with astonishment could be loosened after all. It felt like... like opening her lungs more deeply than she ever had, like inhaling more of the fresh, clean outdoor air than she had yet tasted. She could hear Miss Lily's heartbeat, strong and steady, and she pressed herself a bit closer. The other woman's fingers were resting gently on her side, stroking her ribs ever so slightly, and the tiny sensation made Shay shiver a little bit.
Miss Lily looked down. "Cold?"
Shay shook her head.
"Hmm," said Miss Lily. "Just enjoying being touched?"
"Yes, ma'am," Shay said.
She felt, more than heard, Miss Lily exhale.
Shay wasn't sure how long they stayed like that. She watched the clouds overhead drifting by, the people wandering through the park - even peeked at some of the other couples sitting together, much like they were.
Couples?
Shay tensed, shying away from that thought, that desire. Miss Lily stroked her hair gently, and she relaxed again under her touch.
Eventually, the sun started to get low in the sky, and Miss Lily announced it was time to go home.
"I'm not sure, ma'am."
Miss Lily smiled at her. "Let's cook together, then. We'll make some pasta - it'll be quick and easy."
Shay nodded. "Yes ma'am."
Shay was placed in charge of making the sauce, with Miss Lily coaching her. Miss Lily helped her arrange all the ingredients on the counter, and Shay stared at them, fearful. Miss Lily started some water boiling for the pasta itself. Shay tensed when the other woman turned back after putting the water on and saw her still standing there, not having started. Miss Lily laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, making her flinch.
Shay swallowed, looked at the fridge - at the rules. At the first rule: "WE TELL THE TRUTH."
"I'm scared," she said, looking down at the countertop.
Miss Lily rubbed her shoulder gently.
"Thank you for telling me," she said. "What's scaring you?"
"What if I do it wrong?"
Miss Lily was silent for a moment, thinking.
"If you do it wrong, we'll talk about it, and next time you'll know how to do it better."
Oh. That made sense, Shay supposed. She looked at the first rule again.
Quietly, she said: "Will you be mad?"
"Not if you do your best," Miss Lily said.
Shay nodded, took a deep breath, and started.
"Smells good," Miss Lily said, looking over Shay's shoulder at the sauce she was stirring. On the next burner, the pasta was at a steady boil, and probably almost ready. Shay looked down at her saucepan. She really hoped it tasted good - she was doing her best to trust what Miss Lily had said about not being mad if it didn't, but she was still nervous despite that reassurance.
Miss Lily asked her to set the table as she drained the pasta and mixed it together with the sauce. This, at least, was something Shay felt confident doing. She grabbed a bundle of cutlery and plates and laid them out carefully, starting with salad forks and working inwards, then set the main plates, the side plates, and two wine glasses at each place - one for white, one for red. She idly wondered what wine tasted like. Perhaps she'd find out tonight.
Miss Lily turned, holding a small bowl of sauced pasta, and her eyes widened when she saw the table. She smiled, then her smile broke into a giggle. Shay looked at her, and shame suddenly washed over her - had she done it wrong? She looked down at the table, rechecked her work, but it looked as she thought it was supposed to. Miss Lily set the bowl in the middle of one of the large plates, then set another bowl of pasta atop the other large plate. She sat, and gestured for Shay to sit opposite her.
"Thank you for setting the table," she said, still sounding amused.
Shay looked down at her lap. "I did it wrong," she said.
Miss Lily reached across the table to her. Shay took her hand.
"You did it the way you were taught, didn't you?"
Shay nodded.
"It's very... fancy, but it's not wrong," she said. "I was just amused to be eating pasta from it."
Shay exhaled, relieved. "Oh."
Miss Lily squeezed her hand. "Let's eat," she said.
After they had eaten, Lily washed and put away the dishes, politely rejecting Shay's offer to take care of it. She retreated to her room, leaving Shay to her own devices for a little while. She sat on her bed, pulled the covers over herself, and unfolded her laptop to message Evelyn.
A minute later, Lily's screen filled with her best friend's smiling face. It looked like Evelyn was in bed as well, and not quite clothed. Lily raised her eyebrows in mock surprise.
"I hope I didn't interrupt anything?"
Evelyn giggled. "No, just reading. Before we talk though - is it okay that Max is here?"
Evelyn's sub peeked briefly into the frame. "Hi Lily!"
Lily grinned. "If it's okay I'd like it if it was just you."
Evelyn nodded, turned to Max. "Go wait in the living room, honey."
"Yes Miss," chirped Max. Lily waited until she heard the door open and close. Evelyn watched her through the video link, waiting for her to speak.
"I'm getting feelings," she said.
"For the sub your mom... gave you?"
Lily nodded, blushing. "Her name's Shay."
"It's been, like, one day."
Lily gave her a crooked smile. "You know the stereotype about female dommes with female subs."
"Yeah, I know."
Lily sighed. "It doesn't feel right, though."
"Like, the chemistry isn't right, or?"
"No, the chemistry feels perfect. That's kind of the problem. It's just that I... it's like, she got given to me, which isn't supposed to be a thing, right?"
Evelyn nodded.
"And I'm - I'm trying to help but I don't want it to just be the same thing again, if that makes sense."
"Yeah, it does," Evelyn said, thoughtfully.
Lily sat quietly, staring through the screen, trying to think.
"I think," said Evelyn, "the reason it feels that way is that she's still kind of trapped, right? Like, she didn't decide to be there to start with, and if she decided to leave, she wouldn't - wouldn't have anywhere to go."
Lily forcefully ignored how the phrase "if she decided to leave" made her feel.
"Basically. It's..."
Lily looked down at her lap, away from her camera.
"It's the same thing as my mom and dad," she whispered.
"Hey," Evelyn said. "Stop that. You aren't her."
"I don't want her to be stuck with me," Lily said.
Her best friend gave her a tender look.
"Well," Evelyn said, "that sounds good to me. What would need to be different for her to not be stuck with you?"
"We'd need a different society," Lily said bitterly, after thinking for a moment.
"Okay, well, that's more of a long-term project," Evelyn said, amused. "What about more specifically for her?"
"She'd need to be able to have food and a place to stay, even if I wasn't supporting her."
"Right. So it sounds like she needs a job."
"Unclaimed subs usually can't get -"
"I know, but usually isn't always."
Lily exhaled. "This fucking sucks."
Evelyn's face hardened a bit. "I'm sure it sucks for you, but I bet it sucks even more for her - and even more than that for all the subs who don't have a Lily in their lives."
Lily blushed. "You're right," she admitted.
"All you can do is try to do your best for her with what you have."
"Yeah," Lily said.
A comfortable silence settled over the conversation.
"Hey, Evelyn?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks. For the reality check. And the... everything."
Evelyn smiled. "No worries. We'll be rooting for you."
Lily waved, shut her laptop, took a deep breath, held it, and slowly let it out.
She briefly considered simply ordering Shay down the path she wanted for her without explanation, but the other woman deserved better than that - and, Lily told herself, if she couldn't have a hard conversation with the woman about this then she wasn't worthy of having her anyway. She clenched her fists for a moment, angry with herself, then stood up, left her bedroom, and went to find Shay before she lost her nerve.
"Hey, Shay," Miss Lily said, re-entering the living room. Shay put her book down on the table and folded her hands in her lap. It had taken her a couple of minutes to decide to read the book rather than simply sitting quietly when without orders, but she supposed Miss Lily wouldn't mind. She started to get to her knees on the floor, but Miss Lily stopped her with a hand and gestured for her to stay on the couch.
"I need to talk to you," the other woman said, "about something that's important to me. Okay?"
Anxiety flooded through Shay, and she felt her pulse start to quicken. She squeezed both her hands into fists. She had a feeling she knew what was coming.
"Yes, ma'am."
"I mean it - it might be difficult for both of us. If you don't feel up to it, we can talk tomorrow instead."
Shay considered it, she really did - the idea of giving herself another night of feeling like she belonged before finding out that she didn't. She bit her lip.
"Now is okay, ma'am."
"Okay," Miss Lily said, sitting down on the other end of the couch from her. Shay wanted to move closer to her, but she could tell that wouldn't be proper right now. Instead, she just tried to sit still, feeling like she was waiting for a judge to pass sentence on her.
Miss Lily took a deep breath.
"Shay, I want you to stay with me."
Shay's head snapped up, confused. What did she want to talk about, then? Was this about the dinner plates? She'd said it was okay...
Miss Lily went on: "I want you to stay, but right now I feel like you're trapped here with me. If you - if you wanted to leave, you wouldn't have anywhere to go."
She was right, but Shay didn't want to leave at all. Was this Miss Lily's way of saying that she did want to be rid of her while sparing her feelings? Did she want Shay to want to leave? Shame burned in Shay's heart - it was one thing to be unwanted, but another for someone to pretend to want her.
Miss Lily must have seen her expression change.
"Shay," she said. "Rule one."
"If you - if you want me to go, you can just say, ma'am."
Miss Lily winced.
"Shay," she said. "I really do want you to stay. I like having you around. What I'm talking about is... what you and I need to do to make it fair to you."
"Fair?"
Miss Lily nodded. "It matters to me, a lot, that you're okay with whatever happens between us."
"I am okay with it, ma'am."
"Shay, it's - if you can't say no without being homeless, then saying yes doesn't mean very much."
Shay opened her mouth to explain that whether she said no or yes never seemed to matter much anyway, but stopped herself just before speaking. She blushed at how rude she'd almost just been to a dominant.
Instead, she said: "Yes, ma'am," not really believing it.
Miss Lily studied her, compassion written on her face.
A moment later, she went on: "I want you to have some - some independence, from me, so that if you did decide you want to leave you'd be able to."
Oh. Shay suddenly felt like maybe she understood. She'd heard, when she was little, that submissives were always allowed to leave if they wanted, even if they'd been claimed, but it had never felt to her like a real thing that she could actually do. It sounded like... Miss Lily wanted her to be able to do that.
"You want me to be able to leave," she said, slowly.
Miss Lily nodded. "You choosing to stay only means anything if you can leave."
Shay gave an answering nod. "I understand, ma'am."
She drew in a breath, sat up a little bit straighter.
"What do I need to do?"
Lily was astonished by how strong her own relief was when she saw Shay brighten and heard her explain, in her own words, what Lily wanted. She'd been afraid she would have to be more commanding, but she really wanted Shay to want this for herself, if she could.
"Well," she said, "I think the best thing is for you to have a job. That way you'll have money, and money means independence."
Shay blushed, looked down at her lap again. Lily felt like she saw the other woman shrink a little bit and curl in on herself.
"I've never - I've never had a job before," Shay admitted. "Except to look pretty, sometimes."
"Everyone who has a job today once had a first job," Lily said. "Do you want to know what mine was? I bet you can't guess."
Shay looked at her. "You're a lawyer now, so were you an intern?"
Lily laughed. "I worked in an ice cream place. I had a dumb little hat and everything."
Shay grinned, obviously amused by the image, then sobered. "I guess I'd probably end up doing something like that," she said.
"I'm not really sure what the options are. How about we look together?"
Shay nodded, so Lily fetched her laptop and rejoined her on the couch, sitting closer this time. Shay looked at her for a moment, something obviously on her mind.
"Is it okay if I - I sit with you?"
Lily gave her a warm smile. "Sure."
Shay curled up against Lily's side. Lily put one arm around her, enjoying her warmth and closeness, and with her other hand slowly typed out: "unclaimed sub jobs"
An hour of research together later, Lily felt much better informed, and quite a bit more hopeful. While it was true that unclaimed subs wouldn't be hired in some occupations, the situation wasn't as bad as she'd thought, and in particular it looked like there were actually quite a few options for jobs Shay felt she could possibly do that would pay just enough for her to live frugally on her own, if she wanted to. Lily had also learned about a couple of government assistance programs she hadn't known existed, and a nonprofit that offered job training. She was surprised, despite herself - she'd always heard growing up that unclaimed subs were essentially unemployable, but it seemed like things weren't that dire.
Much better than Lily's new optimism, however, was Shay's. Lily could see awe on her face as they researched together and the world opened up to the other woman.
"I never knew any of this," Shay had said, four or five separate times.
Lily gave her a sympathetic look. "It isn't the kind of thing that people tell subs, I guess. Or me, for that matter."
Shay looked at her, eyes shiny with tears.
"Thank you," she whispered.
Lily clamped her emotions down. "Of course," she said.
After a moment to collect herself, and for Shay to do the same, Lily said:
"Tomorrow, do you think you can make a list of places near here you might want to work at? You can use my laptop."
"I can, ma'am."
"Good. For now, I think it might be best if we both went to bed."
"Yes, ma'am," Shay said, but made no motion to leave.
Lily let out a shaky breath.
"Separately, Shay."
"Yes, ma'am," Shay said, not successfully hiding her disappointment, or perhaps not really trying.
Lily made herself get up, stretched. She stroked Shay's hair once more gently.
"Good night, Shay," she said, and headed to her room.
When Shay woke the next morning, Miss Lily still seemed to be asleep - or at least, the light in her bedroom was off. She showered and dressed, then padded into the living room. 5:40... that gave her 20 minutes until Miss Lily would be up. Shay wandered into the kitchen, feeling vaguely hungry, and then saw the list of three rules stuck to the fridge. Three rules was less than she'd ever lived with before, but these three rules were also somehow much more. She stared at the paper, engraving not just the words but the way they looked in Miss Lily's blocky handwriting into her mind.
"We tell the truth," she whispered to herself. "We take care of ourselves. We take care of each other."
She wanted to take care of Miss Lily - very badly wanted it, she admitted to herself. Maybe she could make her breakfast?
Shay had no real cooking experience, but Miss Lily had oatmeal, which turned out to have instructions printed on the canister for how to make it. She also didn't know how to make coffee, but Miss Lily's laptop did. She set the laptop carefully on the kitchen table, watched her way through a video, then attempted it herself. She was just finishing making both the coffee and the oatmeal when she heard Miss Lily's door open. Quickly, she set the bowl and mug on the table, right as Miss Lily walked into the kitchen, yawning.
"What's this, Shay?"
"I made you breakfast, ma'am."
Miss Lily looked down at the table, then at Shay, looking a bit puzzled (and still half-asleep).
Shay felt herself starting to blush, well aware that plain oatmeal and coffee would not have been considered a sufficient breakfast by any of her previous dominants. She hoped Miss Lily would at least tell her what to do differently next time.
"You didn't make yourself any," the other woman said.
"I - I thought I'd eat after you were finished."
Miss Lily frowned. "I'd rather eat with you. Mine will keep - can you make yourself some as well? I'll go take a quick shower and then we'll eat breakfast together."
Shay nodded. "Sorry, ma'am."
"Nothing to be sorry for, Shay. You were taking care of me, weren't you?"
"Yes, ma'am."
Miss Lily gave her a bright smile. "That's the part that counts."
Lily dragged herself through the morning half of her workday, eagerly waiting for lunch. She generally made a point of not interrupting work with personal things, which had served her well in the past, but today she was so eager to hear how Shay was holding up that waiting was almost unbearable. The moment Maple stopped by her desk with her usual lunch order, she shut her work laptop and dug her phone out of her purse.
For a couple of minutes, Lily stared at her phone, absently eating forkfuls of chickpea salad, willing it to contain a reply. She and Shay had practiced texting each other earlier, so she knew the other woman knew how... hopefully she was okay. Lily sighed - she knew she was feeling way more anxiety than was remotely justified about this.
Just then, her phone buzzed:
Lily felt herself smile in response. She was glad to see that Shay had already started researching jobs - she'd been fretting that Shay wouldn't know how to start and would end up stuck. She wrote back:
She typed out and then deleted a message asking if Shay would do the same for her. It felt a bit too overbearing, like those stereotypical doms who have to know where their sub is and what they're doing at all times. Then Shay replied:
Lily walked her through setting it up, and moments later, a tiny circle with Shay's smiling face in it appeared on the map where Lily's apartment was. Lily's heart warmed seeing her, and she stared at the screen - at the photo of Shay - for a moment before switching back to the text app.
Lily finished her salad, cleaned and recycled the container, then sent:
Then she put her phone away and made herself go back to her desk.
By mid-afternoon, Shay had found over two dozen places that looked like they might be willing to hire her that were within about ten blocks of Miss Lily's apartment. She had them all neatly arranged in a spreadsheet, and was eager for Miss Lily to get home so she could share it with her.
That left her at a loose end for the rest of the day, though. Miss Lily had said she could read if she wanted to... she thought about it, but then remembered she hadn't eaten lunch yet and she was supposed to. She went into the kitchen and got herself a granola bar, which seemed like it would probably be okay. As she was chewing it, she went over the list of rules taped to the fridge again.
The third rule... making breakfast for Miss Lily this morning had felt nice. She didn't think she could make a proper dinner by herself, but perhaps she could clean and tidy a bit? She looked around Miss Lily's cluttered apartment, sizing up the mess.
Lily trudged home from work, sighing heavily. Her afternoon had turned into a nightmare of incomplete documentation, contradictory requirements, and artfully misleading filings from opposing counsel. Devon had assigned her a pair of paralegals to help, but deadlines were looming and Lily was quite sure she couldn't reach them. The inevitability of failure bothered her, but there wasn't much to do about it. She would've stayed late at work, but... she'd thought about it, imagined Shay waiting forlornly at home, and had left promptly at 5:30, deadlines be damned.
She pushed open the door to her apartment, stepped inside, and gasped. The bookshelves were neatly ordered. The blankets usually strewn haphazardly around the living area were folded neatly on the couch, artfully arranged with the throw pillows (which were not on the floor). She could see a little ways into her kitchen, too - enough to see that the usual dirty dishes were absent, and that the countertops were bare. She took another step forward, eyes wide, and almost ran into Shay.
Shay!
She looked down at the woman, who had been silently kneeling by the front door, eyes down, as she'd no doubt been taught. Lily laid a hand on her head, caressed her hair gently.
"Oh, Shay," she said, feeling tears at the corners of her eyes.
"Welcome home, Miss," Shay said.
"You - you really didn't need to."
Shay said nothing, but Lily could see her blushing.
"Come," she said. "Let's sit on the couch."
Miss Lily took her by the hand, helped her to her feet, led her back into the living room. The other woman sat on the couch and patted the spot next to her - right next to her, in fact. Shay nodded and eagerly took the offered place, curling herself against Miss Lily's side. Miss Lily put one of her arms lightly around her. Shay's skin came alive to the touch, even through clothing, and she burrowed herself closer still.
After a minute's companionable silence, Miss Lily spoke: "You did all of this today?"
Shay nodded.
"You know I didn't - didn't expect this," Miss Lily said, voice choked with emotion.
"I wanted to take care of you, ma'am," Shay replied.
Miss Lily said nothing. Shay lifted her head slightly to look at her face and saw her eyes glistening with tears. She pressed herself against Miss Lily.
"Rule - rule one, ma'am?", she said, after a minute's thought.
Miss Lily sniffled. "Good point, Shay. I just... it's been a while since I was cared for like that, I guess."
Shay nodded. She had thought it might be something like that.
Then she added: "You called me Miss."
Shay cringed slightly. She hadn't meant to replace the polite "ma'am" with the more intimate and trusting "Miss" but she'd... it had been what she'd felt then, what she still felt now.
She nodded silently.
"It warms my heart that you feel that way, Shay," Miss Lily said, "but I... you know I can't actually..."
Miss Lily trailed off for a moment, then:
"I can't actually take you as my submissive, even though I want to. Not yet."
Shay sat up to look at her.
Voice unsteady, she asked: "Did you say you - you want to?"
Miss Lily nodded. "I think I do."
"Are you waiting for me to... to be able to leave?"
Miss Lily nodded again.
Shay gave her a small smile.
"I'm going to do it, Miss," she said, feeling the conviction in her own voice.
Lily insisted that Shay not help with the dishes, since she'd already done vastly more than enough cleaning for the day. She stood in the kitchen, scrubbing them, peeking every so often into the living area where Shay was curled up on the couch, reading.
"Good book?"
Shay put her book down and looked up at her. "Yes Miss."
Lily's heart warmed. She didn't think she'd ever get tired of hearing Shay call her that.
"You don't have to stop reading," she said. "I was just watching you enjoy it."
Shay said nothing, but looked back at Lily fondly. Lily felt her face color a little bit, felt suddenly awkward.
"The apartment feels a lot bigger," she said. "And a lot more... comfortable. I don't think I realized how much the mess was bothering me until you tidied."
"Sometimes," Shay said, "when something is wrong for a long time, you get used to it being wrong and you forget that that wasn't how it was supposed to be."
"Very true."
Lily finished washing the last plate and started drying things. She glanced again at Shay and saw that the other woman had picked her book up but was staring into space rather than reading it.
"What are you thinking about, Shay?"
Shay blushed very red indeed and looked down at the floor. Lily smiled down at the plate she was drying. Shay still hadn't said anything, so Lily added:
"Rule one, Shay."
Shay huffed. "Yes, Miss."
She paused, and then said: "I've never met another dom like you, is all."
"What do you mean?"
Shay drew her legs up onto the couch and pulled one of the blankets over her legs.
"You're just - I'm not sure how to say it. You're just different."
Lily finished the last of the drying, stacked the plates neatly in the cupboard, and rinsed her hands, then joined Shay on the couch.
"I don't feel very different," Lily said. "I usually just feel like me."
Shay stared down at her own lap, obviously anxious. Lily frowned when she realized that she'd just essentially ordered Shay to share her thoughts, then immediately told her they were wrong. She opened her mouth to apologize, but Shay spoke first.
"You make me feel like you care about me," she said.
The expression on her face was heartbreaking. Lily moved next to her and pulled her close.
"I do care about you," she said.
Shay nodded. "I know, Miss."
Lily leaned her head against Shay's, rubbing slow circles on her back with one hand, unsure what else to say. She sat like that for some minutes, enjoying having Shay close, enjoying touching her. She felt Shay relax, too, and some of the tension the other woman seemed to always carry in her body easing. Shay let out a long, slow sigh.
"You feel safe, Miss," said Shay.
Lily wasn't sure what to say to that - in fact, she wasn't sure any words could convey how hearing that from Shay made her feel. Instead, she pulled the other woman closer to herself and squeezed her.
"I'm really glad," she said, eventually. She looked down at Shay, at the unadorned black collar around her neck - at the spot on that black collar that should have Lily's name on it. She shook herself slightly and grudgingly disentangled herself from Shay. Spending too much time too close to the sub was giving her feelings she wasn't ready to act on yet. Shay gave her a curious look.
"Just need a bit of space," Lily said, sitting close to Shay still but no longer so close that they were pressed against each other. "Do you want to show me your spreadsheet?"
It was only when Shay started to go over the list of possible jobs that she'd found that Lily realized there was going to be a problem: Shay still had no identity documents, which would make it basically impossible for her to get a job. Unfortunately, there was probably only one way to fix that.
"I'm going to have to talk to my mom," Lily said, sighing.
"You don't like her?"
Lily looked at Shay. "You met her, didn't you?"
"Well, yes, Miss, but you're a..."
Lily smiled. "My being a dom does not deter my mom from being a complete... let's stick with 'harpy' for now."
"Should I wait in my room, Miss?"
"It depends if you want to hear the conversation. It could be a bit heated, especially since I'm still pretty angry with her. If you don't want to listen that's okay, but if you do, you can stay."
Shay nodded. "I'll stay."
Lily started digging in her purse for her phone. Shay... Shay slid off the couch, onto the floor by Lily's feet, and to her knees. Lily almost gasped at how beautiful she looked, posed like that. She laid her left hand on the back of Shay's head, stroking her hair, and felt a sense of peace and calm slowly wash over her.
Shay, eyes downcast, spoke quietly: "Does this help, Miss?"
"Yes, Shay, it does. Thank you."
Lily dug her phone out and dialed with one hand while the other never stopped petting Shay.
"Mom."
"Ah, darling Lily! It's good to hear from you - and unprompted, no less. To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"I need the identity documents for the submissive you... gave me."
"Oh, did I forget to send those along with her? Certainly dear - perhaps we might have the two of you over for dinner and I can hand them to you then?"
Lily rolled her eyes and saw Shay, who was anxiously watching her but only able to hear her side of the call, smile. She rubbed the back of the other woman's neck absently.
"Mom, I'm pretty busy with work and I probably can't make time to visit, sorry. Can you have them couriered?"
"I could, dear, but you know how much your father and I miss you. We can wait a little while if it seems like your work schedule might settle down...? Besides, it'll give us a chance to see how you and your new girl are getting along."
Lily sighed, trying to keep her anger in check. This kind of transparent manipulation was one of her mother's hallmarks, and also one of her least favorite things about the woman. Her mother's last sentence was her real motive: she wanted to make sure that Lily was treating Shay "properly", although Lily knew that her mother's definition of "properly" and hers had very little in common.
Lily decided that a small lie was in order: "Mom, I really don't have time, but I... they won't let me register a claim without her papers."
She saw the shock on Shay's face. She curled her fingers slightly in Shay's hair, putting gentle pressure on her head. She hated to even mention the prospect in front of the sub, especially because of her own feelings about it, but.
"Hmph," her mother said. "Well, it's not good to be too hasty about that anyway, dear. Are you free on Saturday?"
Damn it. Lily had painted herself into a corner.
"I guess I can make the time to visit," she said, grudgingly. "It can't be dinner but we can come over for morning tea."
To Shay, she mouthed: "Sorry."
"Sounds delightful, dear," her mother said. "I'll be sure to have her papers handy."
Miss Lily put her phone back in her purse and let out a long, shuddering breath. Shay edged closer, pressing herself against the other woman's leg. Miss Lily's other hand joined the one that had been stroking her hair.
"Unfortunately I think we're going to need to see my mom," Miss Lily said. Shay stiffened slightly - we?
"She... she wants to see how we are 'getting along'," Miss Lily said, words dripping with sarcasm. "So really what she wants is to see how much of a perfectly-behaved sub you are, and how intimidated you are by me."
"I'm not - not afraid of you, Miss," Shay said, and as she said it she realized it was the truth.
Miss Lily smiled warmly at her. "I'm very glad, Shay, but my mom has some... old-fashioned ideas about how subs are supposed to feel, so you might have to pretend a bit."
Shay nuzzled against Miss Lily's leg, enjoying her touch.
"At least I have plenty of experience," she said, finally.
"With pretending? Or with being afraid?"
"With... with being afraid."
"Oh, Shay," Miss Lily said, gently directing her onto the couch. "Come sit with me."
Saturday morning was not nearly as long in coming as Lily would have preferred it to be. She woke up earlier than she'd intended to and found herself unable to sleep again, so she made herself coffee and prowled restlessly around her apartment, trying not to wake Shay. That turned out to have been unnecessary, since Shay had exactly the same problem. They made and ate a quiet breakfast together, and then Lily sighed, frustrated. She theoretically had a few hours of weekend between now and when she was expected at her mother's, but she knew she wouldn't be able to spend any of it relaxing.
Well, if she couldn't enjoy the time, she would at least make some use of it.
"Shay," she said. "Let's clean together."
After a considerable amount of work, Lily's apartment actually looked like an apartment a human lived in again. The surfaces were not just clear but wiped down, the floors were swept and mopped, and the whole space probably contained less dust than it had since Lily first moved in. Lily put the finishing touches to her own newly-made bed, checked Shay's work on hers, then wrapped her arms affectionately around the other woman.
"Thank you," she said. "I don't think I would've finished if you hadn't started."
Shay cautiously hugged her back. "It's my job, Miss," she said.
"To clean?"
Shay nodded.
"Hm. It could be if you want, I suppose, but we should talk about it. Do you actually like cleaning?"
Shay was obviously a bit puzzled by the question. "Miss?"
"Do you enjoy it? Does it feel good to clean?"
Shay paused. "Sort of, Miss."
Lily frowned. "Instead of it being your job, we'll do it together in future, okay? I'll give you specific things to do, but we'll both keep the house neat."
"I like that, Miss."
"Thank you for saying so."
Lily paused.
"Unfortunately, I think it's time for us to get ready to go."
Lily's parents lived in the same townhouse in the same fancy part of town that they'd lived in when Lily had been born - the kind of area where Lily felt underdressed just to be on the street. Sub doormen bowed respectfully to her and Shay as they walked from the nearest train station. Lily noticed that Shay had dropped a couple of steps behind her, and was walking with her hands clasped behind her back. Lily made herself neither look back nor tell Shay to walk alongside her; the more egalitarian behavior would stick out more in this very traditional neighborhood.
When they arrived, they were greeted at the door by a submissive Lily didn't recognize, but who clearly belonged to her mother - she favored a very distinctive blood-red collar for her subs, which Lily would recognize anywhere. In fact, when she was a teenager Lily's mother had once forced her to wear one for a full day as punishment for some infraction Lily could no longer remember. The experience had definitely stuck with her but whatever the lesson was supposed to be had not.
The submissive bowed deeply. "Miss Lily, your mother awaits you in the drawing-room." Lily held herself back from rolling her eyes at the phrase "drawing-room", but gestured for Shay to follow.
Shay had spent much of her life in what she knew were fairly wealthy homes, but Miss Lily's mother's home (Miss Reyes, as she'd been instructed to call her) was something else entirely. The walls were paneled in a rich wood and decorated with paintings and tapestries that even Shay, uneducated as she was, could tell cost enough for a family of modest means to live on for a year. She had been kept by several well-off dominants, but Miss Lily's parents were obviously rich to a different extent. She swallowed nervously, remembering her previous brief stay in this very home. Although she hadn't shared it with Miss Lily, she'd had a nightmare the previous evening of Miss Reyes deciding to... to take her back from Miss Lily, and had woken up still sick with anxiety. Shay knew that, in principle, Miss Reyes couldn't simply make that decision - while Shay obviously wouldn't dare to defy her, Miss Lily certainly could - but she also had at least some experience of how forceful Miss Lily's mother could be. She clasped her hands together behind her back, trying to keep them from shaking.
The submissive leading them to the drawing-room kept his head bowed the entire way, to such an extent that Shay was surprised he could see where he was going at all. She saw the tension the man was carrying in his shoulders - the way the dim light caught the shining lock on the buckle of his collar - and she felt a rush of sympathy for him. What must it be like, she wondered, to live with Miss Reyes every day?
She very much hoped she wouldn't find out. The few days she'd spent here, in between when her old Sir had... "passed her on", as he'd put it, and when Miss Reyes had left her in Miss Lily's apartment had been some of the most stressful and difficult of her life. In this house, she knew, even the smallest mistake was punished without mercy... and without any kind of comfort afterwards. None of the submissives she'd met here had actually even spoken to her, except for a maid she'd furtively swapped names with in a hallway.
The man leading them drew up in front of a pair of ornately-carved doors made of a deep brown wood, matching the theme of the rest of the home. He opened them and stepped inside, bowing deeply.
"Mistress," he said, "your daughter and her submissive."
Shay, trying to swallow her fear, followed Miss Lily in.
The drawing room turned out to have nothing to do with drawing at all. Shay had never been in this area of the home before, but from the name she'd expected some kind of artist's studio. Instead, this was a room that would have been comfortable if not for the atmosphere: a rich, thick rug, a massive fireplace, a collection of well-stuffed armchairs that positively invited sitting. Shay could easily imagine herself and Miss Lily passing a peaceful evening in this sort of room, with the other woman perhaps reading in one of the armchairs while Shay sat curled at her feet on the enormous rug, warming herself by the fire...
She winced and shook herself out of the brief daydream, reminding herself to be on her best behavior now. She curtsied deeply, keeping her head down and making sure not to let her eyes leave the floor. She couldn't see what Miss Lily did (which was part of the point, she supposed), but she could hear her:
"Mother."
"Lily, darling, it's so nice to see you," Miss Reyes replied. After a pause, she added: "At last."
"And you," Miss Lily replied, although Shay wouldn't have needed to know her as well as she did to tell that she was being less than sincere.
"Do sit down," her mother said. Shay knew the instruction wasn't meant for her, so she stayed standing by the door, waiting. After a moment, she heard Miss Lily snap her fingers. She padded over to where the other woman was sitting and sank to her knees, thankful for the thick carpet. The floors in most of this townhouse, she knew, were bare hardwood and quickly became quite uncomfortable indeed to kneel on.
She couldn't actually see anything of Miss Reyes other than her boots, which were the same ones Shay had always seen her wearing: black leather, polished to a mirror shine, with a small wedge heel. Shay had been kicked with those boots once, and she thought it quite likely that most of the other submissives here had as well. Shay was honestly quite glad not to be able to see the rest of the woman. She kept her head firmly down and tried to keep her own anxiety in check.
She felt Miss Lily's hand rest lightly on the back of her neck and a couple of her fingers wrap gently around Shay's plain unclaimed collar, which helped. She didn't let herself smile, but the small gesture gave her something to ground herself with.
"I'm glad to see she has proper posture," Miss Reyes said. "How is her obedience? I remember her being rather sluggish."
"She's been very well-behaved so far, Mother," Miss Lily said, with a rather icy stiffness. "She's been taught well, I think, and it's easy to... to keep her in line."
"Hm," Miss Reyes said. Shay saw her stand, saw her boots move across the carpet towards her. She felt Miss Lily's grip on her collar tighten slightly. She kept her head very firmly down; one thing she remembered for certain was that Miss Reyes would not tolerate any sign of disrespect at all, which was a quite expansive category.
She froze and her breath stilled as she felt the tip of Miss Reyes' riding crop touch the side of her neck. She remembered every detail of the crop perfectly. She thought she probably would for the rest of her life, in fact. She made herself a statue, clenching both her hands into fists behind her back.
"Do stop holding her collar, dear," Miss Reyes said, and Shay felt Miss Lily's hand leave her neck. Please, Shay thought, please don't decide to take me back...
"Look at me," Miss Reyes said, this time addressing Shay, and with the tip of her riding crop she nudged Shay's chin upwards. The woman was just as imposing as Shay remembered, wearing a dark, tight-fitting dress, and with her hair in the loose ponytail often favored by dommes. Shay looked at the woman's collarbone, as a compromise between following her orders and continuing to show respect. Shay caught herself biting her lip a little bit and chased the expression from her face.
"Hm," Miss Reyes said again, trailing the tip of the crop gently down Shay's throat to her upper chest. "She does look quite... properly respectful, doesn't she?"
"Yes, Mother," Miss Lily said.
"It's almost," Miss Reyes said, very lightly tapping one of Shay's breasts with the crop, "like she's afraid, but she's doing a good job of hiding it."
Miss Lily said nothing.
Suddenly, Miss Reyes drew the crop back and slashed Shay across the chest with it. Even through her clothes, it stung badly, but the shock was worse. She was just barely able to keep herself from crying out. She dug her nails into her palms, steadied herself, and then managed to say:
"Thank you, Miss Reyes."
"Hm. I like that, too. Are you sure you want her, dear? I can find you another."
Oh God. Please no, she thought, please please please...
In answer, Miss Lily put her hand on the back of Shay's neck again and took hold of her collar once more.
"I'm keeping her," she said, firmly. "And I'd like her identity documents, so that I can claim her formally."
"Very well," Miss Reyes said. "She might indeed be a submissive worthy of my daughter. Alfred?"
A moment later, the submissive who'd met them at the front door came into the room, carrying a silver tray. Shay couldn't see what was on it - but then, she wasn't supposed to.
Miss Reyes gestured towards Miss Lily. He offered her the tray, and she took the papers, looked at them, then slid them into her purse. Immediately, she stood.
"Come, Shay," she said, using an imperious tone Shay had never heard from her before.
"Yes Miss," Shay said, getting to her feet, careful to keep her eyes down still. Miss Lily led her to the door, then she turned to face her mother, and when she spoke, her words were ribbed with iron:
"You will never touch her again," she said.
It was only with great effort that Lily kept her anger under control. She couldn't believe that her mother had hurt Shay - her submissive! - in front of her. And what she'd said! As soon as they were free of the townhouse, Lily gathered Shay into her arms and squeezed her tightly, not at all caring what people on the street might think of it. The sub was obviously on the verge of panic, trembling and breathing fast and shallow. She gave herself the silent minute she needed to grasp her own rage, so that she would be able to speak without frightening Shay.
"I'm so sorry," she said, eventually.
Shay clung to her, but didn't reply. Lily rubbed her back gently, still holding her, until her breathing started to calm. After a few minutes, she gently pulled away from Shay so she could look at her face. Shay had obviously been - obviously still was - holding herself back from crying. Lily pulled her close again and laid a kiss on her forehead.
"I was so scared," Shay said, in a small voice.
Lily just held her.
"I had a - a nightmare last night that she took me back from you."
Lily stiffened. "Never."
"Miss, if she had - if she had said she wanted me back, would you have really said no?"
"I would," Lily said, with conviction. "As long as it's in my power, Shay, you will never have to belong to anyone again - me or anyone else, and especially not my mother - unless you choose to."
"And," she added after a moment, "nobody will ever treat you again like she did today. That's a promise."
Shay nodded slowly.
"Come on," Lily said. "Let's go home."
As she and Miss Lily rode the train home, Shay felt the tension - the fear - she'd been carrying slowly bleeding away and being replaced by a hollow, exhausted feeling. She hadn't realized how worried she'd been about meeting Miss Reyes again until it had happened, and now that it was behind her the relief she felt was almost painful in its intensity. She couldn't wait to get home, curl herself up with Miss Lily, and just... be for a bit.
Home, she realized. Obviously Miss Lily called her apartment home, but Shay thought of it that way, too. Even though Miss Lily hadn't claimed her - in fact, had told her outright that she wouldn't, at least now - Shay couldn't remember any place where she had felt more like she belonged. She pressed herself against Miss Lily's side, hiding her face, and the domme put an arm around her and held her tightly. She stayed like that for the entire trip home.
Once she had gotten herself and Shay home, all Lily could do was collapse onto the couch. Her fury had subsided, but she still felt the familiar urge to hurt someone to work the feeling out. Ideally her mother, she thought. She tugged Shay onto the couch next to her, pulled the sub into her lap, and held her as the tears she'd obviously been holding back finally started to fall. She rubbed slow circles on Shay's back, soothing her, and did her best to keep her own body calm and relaxed - this close to her, Shay would feel if she was tense or anxious and it would make the sub more anxious in turn.
After Shay had calmed and her tears had stopped, Lily asked:
"Shay, what's a thing you really like doing? Or a food you really like eating?"
Shay obviously didn't understand: "Miss?"
"I want to - I want to help you feel better, if I can, and reward you for being so strong today."
"Oh," Shay said. "Um. Can I think about it for a bit, Miss?"
"Of course," Lily said. She started slowly disentangling herself. "I'll make us some tea."
By the time Miss Lily had returned with the two teacups, Shay had made up her mind.
"I want to go out somewhere with you, Miss."
Miss Lily carefully handed her one of the cups of tea.
"We can do that. Where do you want to go?"
"Anywhere."
Miss Lily gave her a look of concern. "You just don't want to be in our apartment?"
"No, Miss, it's -". Shay stopped herself and looked down at her lap, figuring out how to say what she wanted to say.
"I've lived in this city for nearly ten years," she said finally, "and I've never really been allowed to see much of it, Miss."
"Ah," Miss Lily said. "Well, we can definitely start on fixing that. Let's have our tea, and then I think I know just the place to start exploring."
Shay nodded, smiling into her teacup.
"What about you, Miss?"
"Me?"
"Is there something you want to do to help you feel better? Or something I can do for you? You had to deal with your mother too, Miss."
"Oh, that's..." Miss Lily blushed. "I'm fine," she said.
Shay frowned. She almost decided to keep quiet, but instead: "Rule one, Miss?"
Miss Lily looked away. "Fair enough, Shay. I... Hm. It's hard to answer, because there are a couple of things that I very much want from you, but I don't think it's a good idea for us to do them just yet."
Shay's mouth was suddenly dry. "What - what are they, Miss?"
Miss Lily blushed more deeply.
"Shay, you know that I find you... attractive, don't you?"
Shay had not known that, no. How could someone as wonderful as Miss Lily find her attractive?
"You d-do, Miss?"
Miss Lily nodded. "I do."
"Oh."
Shay felt warmth gathering in her chest. She set her teacup down and moved closer to Miss Lily.
"And," Miss Lily went on, still not looking at Shay any more, "I want to - to do things with you. The kinds of things that a domme does with her sub."
Shay pressed herself against Miss Lily. "What kinds of things, Miss?"
"You're going to make me say, are you?"
Shay smiled. "I can't make you do anything, Miss, but you said the rules are for both of us."
Miss Lily bit her lip. "I should've thought ahead," she said, laughing.
Shay said nothing. She really didn't want to push Miss Lily into talking about this if she wasn't comfortable, but she was almost too curious for words. As far as she knew she'd never had a dominant before who was actually attracted to her and she felt painfully lucky that Miss Lily was.
"Anyway, Shay," Miss Lily said, "I'd... I'd very much like to..."
Shay felt Miss Lily draw in a deep breath.
"To tie you up and hurt you," she said.
Shay felt herself blushing, felt the warmth in her chest grow. Miss Lily was looking down at her own lap, pointedly not at Shay.
"Miss? Are you okay?"
Miss Lily nodded. "Just ashamed," she said.
"Aren't those normal things to want, Miss?"
"Yes," Miss Lily said, "but - but I'm sure you've had plenty of bad experiences with exactly that, and I'm scared of making you..."
Shay sat up a little bit.
"I have," she said, quietly.
"Well, that's what I mean."
"But those were with other people," Shay said. "And not with you. I want to make you happy, Miss, and maybe - maybe make good experiences to replace the bad ones."
Miss Lily looked up at her, and Shay could see that she had been close to crying. Shay slipped off the couch and to her knees in front of the other woman, nuzzling her - the best way she knew to comfort a dominant in distress. Miss Lily petted her softly, sniffling.
"You're so precious, Shay," she said. Shay gave her a nervous smile. She'd never been precious before, which was just the latest in the long list of things she'd never been before she'd met Miss Lily.
"You make me feel that way, Miss," she said.
After Lily had finished getting some sort of grip on her emotions, she told Shay to get her shoes on and get ready to go out. Lily dressed down a little bit and told Shay to do the same.
"So where are we going, Miss?"
"I'll tell you if you want, Shay, but if you wait I think you'll like the surprise."
Shay nodded, but Lily could see that she was still uneasy. She reached for and took Shay's hand in her own.
"It won't be scary," she said.
"Thank you Miss."
Lily led Shay out of her apartment (their apartment?), down the stairs, and out onto the street. The sun was high in the sky and it was a beautiful, clear summer day - perfect weather for a stroll around the city. She was planning on taking Shay to the planetarium, but a quick check of her phone revealed that the next show didn't start for nearly an hour, so they could take their time getting there.
"We don't need to get there quite yet," she said, "so how do you feel about ice cream?"
"I don't know," Shay said quietly.
"Well, it's summer, so I think we..."
Lily looked to her side and saw that Shay was more pale than usual. She stopped, tugged Shay to the edge of the sidewalk, and pulled her a bit closer.
"Everything okay, Shay?"
"I..." Shay shook herself. "Sorry Miss. I'm fine."
Lily frowned. "Really fine? Or just don't-need-help-this-second fine?"
"The - the second one, Miss."
Lily squeezed Shay's hand. "Thank you for telling me. We'll skip the ice cream, and later tonight we'll talk about why, okay?"
Shay nodded, let out a shaky breath. "Yes Miss."
"Are you still okay with being surprised by where we're going? Or do you want to go home instead?"
"I'm okay to be surprised, Miss."
Lily smiled. "Great. We have plenty of time to get there, so let's just go slow and enjoy the day."
They still arrived quite early, which Lily was fine with since it meant they got their choice of seats. She settled next to Shay and took the sub's hand.
"Is this a movie theater?"
"Good guess," she said. "Sort of, but the screen is all around us instead of just being one flat surface."
"What kind of movie do you show on a round screen?"
Lily smiled at her. "You'll see."
Shay gave her a small smile. Lily could tell she was still a bit shaken from whatever had happened earlier - whatever getting ice cream had reminded her of - but she had recovered well and seemed happy. Lily offered her some of her popcorn, which Shay gladly took. Even though a planetarium wasn't really a movie theater per se, something about being in the dark watching something together just seemed to call for popcorn and soda.
"It's so oily," Shay whispered, looking around at the other people filtering in.
"That's part of the point," Lily said, grinning. "It has a ton of butter on it."
Shay looked down at the small cardboard container. "I don't think I should eat too much of it."
"Today," Lily said, "we can both eat whatever we want. I've decided."
Shay giggled. "Yes Miss," she said, and grabbed another handful of popcorn.
After a few more minutes, the lights went down and the massive projector that lit the planetarium started to power up.
Suddenly, the nighttime sky was all around them - not the usual city night sky, washed out by light pollution to a bare handful of stars and planets, but the real night sky, as it looked from the most remote places on earth. The band of the Milky Way stretched out above them, with thousands - millions! - of stars. Lily could have, if she'd wanted to, picked out some of the constellations her father had taught her when she was little, but her attention was a bit closer to Earth at the moment.
Next to her, Shay was staring, wide-eyed, looking up in awe. Lily squeezed her hand. The view of the night sky started to rotate and Shay gasped in delight. Lily settled herself back into her chair, half watching the show and half watching Shay enjoy it. The sub was smiling more widely than Lily had ever seen, head turning to pick out individual features of sky or to watch a specific star move across the screen. Lily smiled, too, holding and enjoying the blissful feeling of having made Shay so happy.
Shay couldn't remember the last time she had seen something so amazing. She'd asked Miss Lily if they could watch it again, and Miss Lily had said they weren't leaving until Shay could honestly say she didn't want to stay, so she'd made her domme (not your domme, Shay, she reminded herself forcefully) sit through the entire show twice more, watching new parts of the projected sky each time. The entire time, Miss Lily had held her hand and watched Shay rather than the screen, which made her feel self-conscious about her own excitement, but... Miss Lily looked overjoyed watching her, and seeing that look on her domme's (again Shay, not your domme!) face was new and wonderful.
After the voiceover ended and the lights came up for the third time, Shay sat up.
"I'm done, Miss."
"Are you sure? We can stay longer, if you'd like."
"Maybe - maybe we can come back another day instead?"
Miss Lily grinned at her. "Sure! And now, I think, maybe a late lunch?"
"Yes Miss."
That evening, after Miss Lily and Shay had made and eaten dinner together, they were cleaning the dishes - Shay washing, Miss Lily drying and putting them away. Miss Lily was humming quietly while she worked and Shay was just... enjoying being. The realization surprised her: she actually was not afraid, exhausted, hungry, in pain, or any of the other feelings that had been her companions for so long that she'd forgotten what it was to be without them. In fact, she was...
"I'm happy," she said, aloud.
Miss Lily looked up from the plate she was meticulously drying. "Hm?"
"I'm happy, Miss," Shay repeated.
Miss Lily said nothing, but finished drying her plate, put it away, took Shay in her arms, and hugged her from behind. Shay blushed but kept scrubbing at the saucepan she had in her hands.
"I want that for you," she said.
Shay sighed, relaxing. "Thank you."
"You don't need to," Miss Lily said. "It's what every domme should want for her sub."
Shay carefully put the saucepan down in the sink, even though it was not yet clean.
"Do you - Miss, do you want me?"
In answer, she felt Miss Lily curl a hand lightly around her collar.
"I do, Shay."
Shay's heart was too full, like there wasn't room for her to feel anything else.
"I can't - I don't want to have the power to force you to stay, Shay, but I do want you. I want to keep you here with me. Do you understand?"
"I - I don't, Miss."
"What don't you understand?"
Shay paused, letting the feeling of Miss Lily holding her calm her, ease the fear she felt a bit.
"Why... why me, Miss?"
"Why you? Shay, you're... you're everything I want in a sub."
"How can you say that? I'm - I'm -"
She felt one of Miss Lily's hands lightly cover her mouth and abruptly stopped talking.
"I don't want you to say bad things about yourself," the other woman said. "I know you feel them, and we'll talk about them later, but I don't want to hear them right now, Rule One or no."
Shay let out a shuddering breath and said nothing.
"Good girl," Miss Lily said. She placed a soft kiss on the back of Shay's neck, then picked her dish towel up and resumed her work.
Monday morning came too quickly for Shay. She'd spent the entirety of both Saturday and Sunday with Miss Lily, and apart from the terrifying visit to Miss Lily's mother, it had been one of the best weekends of her life. She wasn't used to... well, a lot of things about Miss Lily, but she most especially wasn't used to a dominant so manifestly wanting her. Miss Lily was always touching her, staying close to her, talking with her - each time a tiny reminder that she cared. She thought that perhaps she and Miss Lily had spoken more in the past two days than Shay had spoken with her previous dominant in any given month.
Even more intriguing than that was the revelation that she wanted Miss Lily in return. She'd been interested in - even attracted to - the woman earlier, but now how she felt seemed deeper and more significant. She wanted to belong to Miss Lily, not just because she was a kind and gentle dominant, but because... because she'd taken Shay to the planetarium, and cooked with her, and was helping her become more independent, and... and so many other things, big and small, that added up to Miss Lily genuinely wanting her, Shay, to be happy.
Shay sat up, yawning herself awake, and dragged herself to the shower. As she scrubbed herself, hot water running over her skin, her brain replayed Miss Lily telling her that she wanted to tie Shay up and hurt her. She felt herself flush at the thought. She wanted that too, she knew; even if she hadn't figured it out, her body's reaction to the thought would have made it abundantly clear. In fact, she wanted it in a way that she had wanted few other things in her life. She had been touched - played with - before countless times by dominants, but she hadn't really hungered for it like this since she was a teenager. She turned the feeling over in her head, analyzing it. She'd been taught for a long time to want what her dominant wanted, which made it hard to tell whether the feeling was genuine or not. Ultimately, she decided, it didn't much matter whether it was real. If it was, so much the better, but even if it wasn't, it was something that Miss Lily wanted that Shay was more than happy to give her.
She turned off the shower, dried herself off, got dressed, and went into the kitchen to start making breakfast. She heard Miss Lily's bedroom door open, heard the other woman walking to the shower.
"Miss?", she called.
Miss Lily peeked into the kitchen and dining area. "Morning, Shay?"
"I want it too," she said.
Miss Lily blinked sleep from her eyes. "Want what?"
"I want you to... to tie me up and, and hurt me."
Miss Lily paused. "Can we talk about that over breakfast?"
"I might not still be brave enough at breakfast."
The domme smiled. "Now that you told me, I can help you be brave."
"Yes Miss."
Lily, it seemed, had somehow forgotten how to shower. She'd find herself halfway through scrubbing a limb, holding the soap, staring blankly at it while her mind went again over what Shay had just said. The desire that she felt - had been feeling, almost since she'd first met the sub - was undeniable, but she'd assumed that... that Shay would be too damaged, she admitted to herself, to want or enjoy things. Maybe she'd underestimated the other woman's resilience.
She toweled off and dressed.
In the kitchen, Shay had toast, some cut fruit, and two cups of coffee laid out on the table. She smiled fondly at the second coffee cup. Shay had had her first cup a few days ago and already seemed just as hooked as Lily was. Shay was already sitting at one of the set places. It's made Lily's heart ache, remembering the first time Shay had made breakfast - just for Lily, with nothing for herself.
She sat, took a sip of coffee.
"Let's talk about what you said."
"Yes, Miss."
Shay didn't say anything further, seemingly waiting for Lily to speak.
"Is that what you really want, Shay? Or is it what you think I want you to want?"
Shay frowned. "I can't tell, Miss," she said, finally. "I'm used to always wanting what my dominant wants anyway."
"That's... Oh." Lily felt like she'd been handed a missing piece of the puzzle that Shay sometimes was.
"I would..." Shay said, trailing off into a blush. "I want to try, though."
Lily smiled. "I want to try too," she said.
Shay's blush deepened. "Yes Miss," she replied, apparently unsure what to say.
Lily reached across the table and took one of Shay's hands in her own. They passed the rest of breakfast in comfortable silence, and then Lily helped Shay clean the dishes and reluctantly went to work.
Once she'd seen Miss Lily off to work and lightly tidied the apartment, Shay set about her big task for the day: starting to visit the places on her list to see if any of them were hiring. Miss Lily had set a goal for her to visit three of them today, but Shay wanted to try to do more, if she could. She took the identity papers from Miss Lily's bedside table. She felt a wash of guilt when she entered Miss Lily's room without her permission, but she knew what Miss Lily wanted her to do today, knew the papers were needed for it, and felt confident that Miss Lily would be okay with Shay entering her room to get them. She decided that she'd tell the other woman this evening, anyway, just in case she was wrong.
Once she had the papers and her nearly-empty new wallet (another present from Miss Lily, at the moment containing only a transit card and some cash), she packed herself a granola bar and a bottle of water as well and stared at the map on her phone. The first place on her list was only two blocks away.
Lily managed to keep her mind off Shay and off the conversation they'd had over breakfast well enough to work steadily through the morning. In fact, she would have forgotten to eat lunch entirely if Maple hadn't appeared, unprompted, carrying her usual lunch salad. Lily gave her a grateful smile.
"Have you eaten lunch yet, Maple? If not, would you like to eat together?"
Maple checked her watch. "I'd like that, ma'am. I'll fetch my own meal. Do you want to eat in here, or...?"
Lily glanced at Andrew's empty desk. There was plenty of room and privacy here, but on the other hand... maybe some sunlight.
"How about the roof deck? Get your lunch and meet me back here and we'll go up together."
"Yes ma'am," Maple said. She vanished and returned a couple of minutes later, carrying an insulated lunch bag. Lily led the way to the elevators, then found a quiet corner of the roof with a couple of chairs and a small table under an umbrella to share. The view out over the city was spectacular, and Lily spent a moment silently appreciating it. Across from her, Maple unpacked a few plastic containers from her lunch bag, containing a sandwich, a salad, and a single cookie.
Lily looked more closely at Maple's lunch - it appeared that she had already started eating her sandwich earlier?
"Were you hungry already?", she asked, gesturing toward the sandwich.
"Oh, um," Maple said. "My - one of my Mistress's rules for me. I'm not allowed to eat before she has, so that's her... her way of letting me know she's already eaten. She makes my lunch and she takes a little bite of everything."
"Oh, that's so cute!"
Maple blushed and opened the container with the cookie inside, showing that a small bite had been taken out of that as well. The salad, too, had obviously had a bite taken out of one of the baby carrots.
"She's good to me," Maple said.
Lily started working on her salad, enjoying the comfortable shared silence. Her phone buzzed in her pocket.
Her phone! She'd been ignoring it all morning. She dug it out of her pocket and laid it on the table in front of her. She had a handful of texts from Shay, received over the past few hours:
and, most recently:
Lily wrote a quick reply:
Lily pocketed her phone again and saw Maple watching her curiously.
"New sub," she explained.
"Oh! You met someone, ma'am?"
Lily winced. "Sort of. My mom, um, set things up."
"You don't sound very happy about that, ma'am."
"My mom is a whole unpleasant story of her own and probably not good lunch conversation. Anyway, yes, I met someone and... and I like her."
Maple smiled. "I'm glad, ma'am. She's very lucky to have you."
Lily blushed. "You think so?"
"Take it from an old sub, ma'am: you're a good dominant."
"How can you say that, Maple? We've never - well, you know."
"No," Maple replied, "we haven't, but it still comes out in the way you treat me and the other support staff, and I know it's not just me that you're as good to as you are, ma'am. We do gossip amongst ourselves, you know," she finished with a smile.
"Oh," Lily said, feeling faintly embarassed but also undeniably pleased by the idea of the other support staff (all subs, of course) discussing her virtues.
Maple had finished her sandwich and salad and picked up her cookie. "Would you like some, ma'am? Mistress allows me to share my dessert."
The cookie did look excellent. "Sure, I'll have a bite," Lily said. "Only dessert?"
Maple nodded. "I know it's kind of strange. It's my fault, actually."
Lily's curiosity must have been obvious, because Maple went on:
"At a... a previous place I worked, I used to share my lunch with one of the other support people because she usually didn't have anything to eat. My - my Mistress found out and she told me that it was the right thing but the wrong way to do it, and she told me I was to stop sharing my meals."
"Oh," Lily said. "What - what about the other sub, though?"
"Well," Maple said, "my Mistress started sending me to work with two lunches. She always says it's our duty before God to share with those less fortunate."
"Wow," Lily said, awed. She had met plenty people who would have called themselves religious, especially on her mother's side of the extended family, but she couldn't think of a single one who would have bothered to do that.
Maple blushed. "She's great," she said, breaking off and offering Lily a chunk of her cookie.
"Generous and an excellent baker, apparently," Lily said through a mouthful of cookie.
"I'll pass that on, ma'am," Maple said, grinning. "For now, I'd better get back to my duties. By your leave?"
"Of course, Maple. It was a pleasure."
The third place on Shay's list was a small book store. The weathered sign above the entrance read "THE FIRST CHAPTER BOOKS", and a smaller subtitle read "Since 1922". Shay paused just outside, gathering her nerves and looking in through the front windows. The store looked inviting, at least to her, with the high shelves forming narrow aisles, so tall that there were stepstools and ladders for customers to reach the higher shelves. Just inside and to one side of the entrance was a tiny cafe with a few low tables and very comfortable-looking armchairs.
She must've spent too long looking, because a small, young, dark-haired submissive - a man, Shay guessed, although she couldn't be certain - came out of the store to speak to her.
"Can I help you find something?"
"Oh, um," Shay said. "I was here to apply for a job."
"Oh! Oh, great. Come on in. Our manager's actually here today so you can talk to him about it."
Shay followed the man inside, through the bookstore, and to a little office area at the back, although it was only slightly an office and much more a storage area for books. Another man, probably around fifty at Shay's guess, with a shock of grey hair and a barrel chest, was hefting a cardboard box. As she and the other submissive entered he was just finishing cutting the packing tape holding the box closed. When he heard them come in he stood and straightened.
"This - this woman would like to apply for the open job, sir."
The older man - a dominant, Shay inferred, broke into a wide smile.
"Excellent!" He stuck out a hand for her to shake, which Shay did, after a moment's hesitation.
"You can call me David," he said. "I'm the store owner, and I'm sure Zach introduced himself to you already."
The submissive - Zach - blushed slightly. "Ah, I forgot, sir."
David smiled at him. "Try to remember next time, eh?"
"Yes sir!"
"Anyway, you are...?"
"Shay, sir."
"Good. Let's sit down together and chat for a few minutes, and see if it seems like a good fit. Zach, thank you, back to the register please. Can't have customers walking out without paying! Mostly, anyway."
Shay was well aware that she was staring a little bit. The man seemed to be having separate conversations with her, with Zach, and with himself all at once.
"Well! Have a seat, Shay, and let's talk a little bit."
Shay looked around, but there was only a single chair in the space. For a moment she stood, unsure, and then David sat down atop a box of books and gestured for her to take the chair. She did, perching on the edge, uneasy to be alone with a dominant that wasn't Miss Lily.
"So, why a bookstore?"
Shay tilted her head slightly. "Um. I love reading and it seemed like something I'd be able to do even though I have no - no experience."
His expression softened a bit, and Shay could almost see him thinking: unclaimed sub, about 30, no prior work experience, looking for a job. What he was probably assuming wasn't so far off the truth, either, except that she had Miss Lily.
"I've heard enough," he said. "When can you start?"
"That's - that's it?"
"I'm a big believer," he said, "in helping people find fresh starts when they need them. Plus, selling books really isn't that difficult, so as long as you work hard I'm sure you'll be okay."
Shay nodded. "Um. I can start tomorrow morning if you'd like?"
"Great," he said. "We open at eight. I'll have Zach here, he'll teach you everything you need to know. He's a good lad, just gets flustered sometimes. I won't be around, but if you need anything, he has my phone number."
Suddenly, Shay remembered her identity papers. She pulled them out of her purse and offered them to him.
"Oh," he said, seeming somewhat surprised. "I - er, I have to admit I wasn't going to check, but as you do have them I'll put you on the books as an employee after all."
"I thought - I thought they were required to work, sir?"
He gave her a thoughtful look. "They are, but it's... ah, not all submissives have ready access to their papers, eh? And some of those that don't are the ones that most need work. You understand?"
Shay did.
"Anyway," he said, "tomorrow at eight. Please be on time - I'm not much for rules or any of that, but lateness does bother me." He sounded apologetic, more than anything, as though wanting an employee (a sub employee, at that) to be at work when they were supposed to was an imposition.
"I'll be there," she said. With nothing else to say, she ended the conversation formally: "By your leave, sir?"
He gave her a nod, already turning back to the box he'd been unpacking.
When Lily got home from work, she was not surprised to find Shay kneeling just inside her apartment's front door. She set her bag down, took off her shoes, and gently stroked Shay's hair. She felt some of her workday tension start to melt away.
"Welcome home, Miss."
"Thank you, Shay," she said.
"Can I get you anything, Miss?"
"Hm! Some tea would be lovely. I think we have uncaffeinated black?"
"Yes Miss," Shay said, getting to her feet. Before she could leave for the kitchen, Lily quickly wrapped her in a hug. Shay was surprised for a second, then returned it.
Still holding her, Lily said: "It feels good seeing you like that."
"Like what, Miss?"
"Kneeling and waiting for me to get home. It makes me feel cared about."
Shay blushed. "Yes Miss."
Lily let go of her. "I'm sorry today's places didn't work out. Maybe tomorrow will be better."
Shay gave a shy smile. "Actually, Miss, the third place did hire me."
"They did!? Oh, that's wonderful news! Come, let's sit and you can tell me all about it. When you didn't text me afterward I assumed that it had been another bust."
"I wanted to tell you in person, Miss."
"That makes sense. Actually, let's forget the tea and the sitting and go out for dinner. I think this requires a celebration!"
Miss Lily talked with great animation for the entire walk to the restaurant, peppering Shay with questions, which she did her absolute best to answer. When she realized that The First Chapter was so close to home, she insisted on walking there first to see it. She peered through the windows of the closed shop, beaming.
"Oh, it looks lovely, Shay. I'm so proud of you!"
Shay blushed, happiness gathering in her chest. "Thank you Miss. I didn't really - I just showed up and asked, is all."
Miss Lily hugged her again. "Sometimes that's all it takes. Now, for dinner, do you want me to pick the place?"
"Yes Miss."
Miss Lily grinned. "Alright, I think I know just where to go."
She led the way to a quiet, dimly-lit restaurant and followed the host, with Shay in tow, to a table tucked into an alcove. At first Shay felt a bit underdressed for the atmosphere, but Miss Lily was still in her work clothes, wasn't she? If she was comfortable being casual here, Shay should be too, so she tried her best to push that particular worry out of her mind. Miss Lily ordered for both of them, then sat back in her chair and gave Shay an affectionate look.
"So," she said. "Did they interview you? What did they ask?"
"They did, Miss, although the only question the owner asked was why a bookstore. I can't really remember what I said but whatever it was must have been right because he offered me the job right then and there."
"Hm! I suppose they're willing to give people a chance without worrying too much about experience or anything. I like that."
Shay nodded. "The owner said... well, I think he thought I was coming from a bad situation. He wasn't - he wasn't going to check my ID papers at all before I showed them to him."
Miss Lily's gaze softened. "I'm glad he did check," she said. "It's... well, if he didn't, he could get in trouble, although I don't think you could. It's better that he did, anyway."
"He was going to hire me even if I didn't have them," Shay said, voice now a whisper.
Miss Lily nodded. "Some places will hire... subs without their documents, like that. It can be because they're trying to help, but it can also be because they know those subs are - are in difficult places and don't have many other options, so they can pay them too little or treat them badly. It's... well, ultimately it's a problem with the law."
"I hadn't thought of that, Miss." Shay turned the idea over in her head, of someone deliberately evading laws that protected workers - including submissive workers. Until she'd met Miss Lily, she hadn't actually known that such laws existed, and she had a brief vision of an alternate Shay, who'd left or been turned out on her own, falling immediately into the clutches of whoever had first offered her a place to work or stay. She straightened in her chair slightly.
"I'm glad I have you, Miss," she said.
Miss Lily's smile was radiant. "I'm glad I have you too, Shay."
Shay arrived at the bookstore early the next morning - a bit too early, in fact, since the doors were still closed and locked. She sipped coffee from the travel mug Miss Lily had sent her to work with and decided to walk around the area a little bit. On one side of the bookstore was the entrance to a modern-looking glass-and-steel workspace for what seemed like maybe an architecture firm, with a perky-looking young sub woman already sitting at the reception desk. On the other side, the corner of the block, was a small coffeeshop, also already open although mostly fairly empty. She walked around the block, trying to remember everything she saw, and was delighted to see a small park with a few benches and a couple of tables circled around a pond.
She checked her watch: 7:35, so she was still more than twenty minutes early. She went into the park and sat at one of the benches, placing her purse and her lunchbox on the bench next to her. Miss Lily had made lunch for her this morning. Shay had found the idea of a dominant making her lunch amusing but also very sweet, so she'd done her best not to laugh.
She smoothed her skirt, making herself sit still and focusing on controlling her breathing. Her nerves were not as bad as she would've expected them to be. She and Miss Lily had stayed up a bit late last night, talking through how her first work day might go, how to deal with things that might happen, and... and what to do if things didn't work out. It had been a huge relief to Shay when Miss Lily had underlined that she expected Shay to do her best at this job, but if it wasn't right or she couldn't do it, she would still have a place in Miss Lily's home and in her life, and Miss Lily would wait until Shay found something that did fit her before deepening their relationship.
That was how she'd put it: "deepening their relationship". Shay liked the phrase, but she even more liked the implication that there was a relationship to deepen. The idea that Miss Lily wanted her still didn't seem to quite fit into her head - or rather, it didn't seem to stick there when she tried to remember it - but Shay was more certain than she had been of anything else in her life that she, Shay, did want to belong to her. Last night when they'd been talking about her first workday, snuggled on the couch, Miss Lily's fingers had lightly brushed her collar. The thrill she'd felt, the desire for possessive touch, had been unmistakeable and she had voiced her desperate wish for Miss Lily to take her to bed, but the dominant had just smiled at her and said "Not yet."
She pulled herself out of the memory and took another sip of coffee. Perhaps Zach would be here by now? She wandered back to The First Chapter and arrived just in time to see Zach round the corner. He gave her a friendly wave and hustled to the storefront.
"Morning! Shay, right?"
"Morning. That's right, and you're - Zach?"
"Yep! Here, I'll get the door open and we can both go in."
He fumbled with keys for a minute, then the front door swung open and Shay followed him inside. He flicked the lights on and led her behind the counter.
"Okay, so," he said. "You've never worked in a bookstore before, right?"
Shay nodded. "I've never worked anywhere, actually."
"Got it. Anyway, there's one main part of our job and a couple of side parts. Side parts first because they're simpler. We run the register and we keep the store neat and organized, so like... you know, sweeping up and such, but also making sure the books are shelved where they're supposed to be shelved. When people pick them up they often just put them back somewhere random, so that always needs to be done."
"I understand," Shay said. Both of those sounded like things she could do.
"The main thing, though," Zach said, "is helping people find books. Sometimes people come in looking for some genre or something and you want to be able to make a recommendation for them. Sometimes people have a specific book in mind, and then it can get pretty tricky - you want to figure out what they mean, especially if they don't know the title."
Shay swallowed, suddenly nervous. While she did love reading, she'd only really gotten to do it again since she'd moved in with Miss Lily, and she was acutely aware that she probably wouldn't be able to either recommend books or help people find them. Zach must have seen her nervousness, because he said:
"If you're stuck, you can ask me, or if David's around he's even better at it. I've been working here for a couple of years but he's been running it for like, three decades almost. You'll learn to do it on your own, too."
"Alright, I think I can do it. I'll try, anyway."
"Now," Zach said, "there's one other job which we do when we need to. This over here," he said, leading her over to the tiny cafe area by the entrance, "is the cafe. Nothing fancy at all - we just have tea and coffee, and we'll get a delivery of some pastries and stuff soon. If people come over here, we serve them whatever they want to eat or drink. Sometimes customers just come sit here and read for a while, and that's fine as long as nobody else needs the table."
Shay nodded.
"I know that was a lot. Any questions?"
"No, I don't think so."
"Great! Let's, um, let's open then, and then maybe you can check if any books need to be re-shelved and I'll work the register."
Shay nodded, watched Zach flip the sign on the front door to OPEN, and took a deep breath. She could do this. She would do this.
When the shop opened, she'd expected that they'd be immediately overwhelmed with customers, but that turned out not to be the case, thankfully. She spent a very peaceful first few minutes of her first ever workday walking the shelves, checking that books were in their places and trying to familiarize herself with the store's layout. A businessman stopped by, but he seemed to know what he wanted - he ignored Shay completely, picked out a book, and went to the register to pay Zach for it. As he was leaving, a woman about Shay's age came in with a girl that she guessed was maybe five or six years old and probably her daughter.
"Morning ma'am," Shay said.
"Good morning," the woman said. "I have a sort of weird request. Becky, can you ask the lady?"
The girl spoke up: "Do you have any books about space?"
"Oh, we definitely do," Shay said. "Do you want the kids space books, or the grownup space books?"
The girl's eyes widened. "There are grownup space books?"
Shay smiled at her and looked to the woman for approval, getting a small nod in return.
"Over here," Shay said, leading both of them to the science section, which was conveniently next to the science fiction section. The girl immediately got to her knees and started scanning the bottom shelves, delighted. Shay turned to the woman.
"Is she looking for something specific, ma'am?"
"Oh, I don't think so. She's just at that age, you know? She'll just read for hours and hours about anything at all."
Shay reached up to one of the top shelves, far higher up than the little girl could see, and pulled out a hardcover book about stars and planets. She handed it to the woman, who took it, flipped through it, and nodded approvingly.
"How about this one?", she said, offering the book to her daughter.
Her daughter took it from her, opened it, and gasped. While the book was indeed a science book and was about stars and planets, Shay had not chosen it at random. In fact, it explained the science through the journey of a young astronaut who travelled around the galaxy with her cat. The very first page was a colorful illustration of the astronaut - also a girl of about six - boarding her rocket, which was aimed up at the sky.
"Oh! Can we get this one, mom? Please?"
The woman smiled at her daughter. "Sure, hon. Do you want to buy it yourself?"
"Uh huh!"
"Alright. Here," she said, as she pulled a couple of bills out of her wallet and handed them to her daughter. "You remember what to do?"
The girl nodded, carrying the book under one arm and the money in one hand, and walked up to Zach and the register. The woman stayed standing where she was, with Shay, watching her daughter. Shay glanced at her face and saw the mix of affection and pride.
"Thank you so much for your help," she said to Shay, not taking her eyes off the girl. "That was a great recommendation."
"Of course, ma'am," Shay said, letting herself enjoy the soft glow of praise from a dominant.
The woman looked back at the little cafe area. "Is it alright if we sit here for a bit? We have an appointment but it's not for a little while."
"Yes, ma'am. We have snacks and some drinks if you'd like?"
"Hm," the woman said. "If you have it, I could go for a cup of black coffee, and I bet Becky would love an apple juice."
"Can do, ma'am. If you'd like to take a seat I'll bring both of those to you."
The girl took the book - her book, now - back from Zach along with her change, turned, and ran back to her mom. "I did it mom!"
The woman smiled. "Good work, hon. Let's go sit down for a bit and have a drink, then we'll head to the doctor."
The girl curled up in one of the armchairs in the cafe area and immediately became deeply absorbed in her new book. Her mother took the chair next to her and sat, sipping at her coffee and watching her daughter read. Shay's heart ached a little bit; she'd always wanted to be a mother, but had never had the chance before, and since Miss Lily was another woman it didn't seem very likely to happen in the future either. She told herself firmly that it was worth giving up to be with Miss Lily, but the ache remained. She sighed, turned away, and went back to rechecking the shelves.
By lunch, Shay had managed to help a few more customers, and was feeling not entirely useless, which was good since according to Zach there was often only one person working at a time and she'd need to be able to handle things on her own. She wasn't sure she'd ever be able to do that, but she resolved that if she couldn't, it wouldn't be lack of effort on her part.
She had a half-hour break for lunch, so she decided to walk to the small park around the corner she'd visited in the morning and eat there. Earlier the park had been deserted, but now it was quite busy, mostly with small groups of workers from the nearby office buildings eating lunch together. Shay found a quiet place to sit and opened her lunchbox, finding a container of bean salad and another container of peach slices. Stuck to the top of the salad container was a note in Miss Lily's blocky handwriting: I BELIEVE IN YOU, with a little drawn heart.
Shay stared at the note for a moment and felt tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. She picked the note up in a shaking hand, reading the four words over and over, then folded it extremely carefully and pocketed it. She pulled her phone from her purse and texted Miss Lily:
Miss Lily didn't reply right away, so she put her phone back away and opened the containers to eat.
After she'd eaten her lunch, she made her way back to First Chapter. Zach finished with his current customer, then gave her a concerned look.
"You okay?"
Shay nodded and reached into her pocket. She unfolded the note, reread it another time, and offered it to Zach.
"Aw," he said. "Here, come in the back with me for a second."
She followed him back into the storage area, still piled high with boxes of books. On the wall, right by the door, was a bulletin board. Attached to it with pins were a dozen little notes. YOU DO A GREAT JOB, one of them said; another in a different hand simply read I LOVE YOU Z.
"Oh, wow. Who are these from?"
Zach pointed at YOU DO A GREAT JOB. "That one's from David - he left it on the register one day and I found it at the start of my shift. And that one," he pointed at I LOVE YOU Z, "is from... well, it's from my mom."
"Can I stick mine here as well?"
"Sure! Who's it from?"
"My - my Miss."
"Oh," Zach said. "I didn't realize you had someone."
Shay smiled. "It's new."
"That's awesome. I've dated a couple of guys but I haven't really had that connection yet, you know?"
"I'm sure you will some day, Zach."
He grinned. "I hope so. Anyway, you can stick it anywhere you want on the board. Whenever I'm feeling bad I come back here and look at it."
Shay pinned her note to the top corner and read it over one more time.
I BELIEVE IN YOU.
The early afternoon went smoothly, and Shay actually managed (by herself!) to help a customer find a book they didn't know the title of just based on the description. After the customer left the shop, Zach congratulated her.
"That's the hard part," he said. "The rest is just practice."
Shay was tidying the cafe area, washing some plates and mugs, when an obviously irate domme walked in, clutching her purse tightly. She stalked up to the register, dug a book out of her purse, and smacked it onto the counter, making both Shay and Zach jump.
"Did you sell my daughter this?"
From where she was Shay couldn't see what the book was. She tried to focus on her cleaning and on keeping herself calm, but she couldn't help watching. Zach, eyes wide, had taken a step back from the counter, but the domme was leaning forward over it into his space.
"I um - um - we - we might have, ma'am? We do carry it."
The domme picked the book up, flipped it over. "It has your price tag on it."
"Then we - we did sell it, ma'am. I'm sorry, it's not on the - on the age restricted list or anything. How old is your daughter?"
"She's sixteen."
"I'm sorry ma'am, that's the... the usual age when new subs want this kind of stuff. I really apologize, but we - if she came in here, we definitely would have sold it to her."
The woman reddened, and Shay saw her fists clench.
"My Kate," she said, "is not a sub. Is that clear? She's not, no matter what she or her little friends think."
Zach swallowed, pale. "Of course not, ma'am. Um. Would you like a refund, or...?"
The woman sighed, disgusted. "Don't bother."
She stormed out, leaving the book on the counter.
Shay put down the mug she'd been cleaning and walked over to the register - to Zach. He was breathing hard, eyes unfocused, and had pressed himself into a corner. Shay crouched in front of him, not quite sure how to help. She'd had to comfort other subs many times before, but usually they had belonged to the same dominant as Shay, and therefore she knew them. Zach was still mostly a stranger to her.
What would Miss Lily do? Shay thought for a moment, then she said:
"You're okay, Zach. You didn't do anything wrong."
He looked at her, face a mask of anxiety. "I did," he whispered.
"No," Shay said, more firmly. "I know it - it felt like she was angry with you, but really she was angry with her daughter, and with herself."
She took a deep breath, then put as much confidence into her voice as she could.
"You did - you did the right thing," she said. "You were good."
"Are you sure?"
Shay nodded. "Yes."
He swallowed, and she saw a little bit of color return to his face.
"Th - thanks," he said, standing up slowly. Shay stood as well and wrapped him in a loose hug.
Zach looked at the counter - at the book, as though it was a hand grenade. Shay picked it up. ELEMENTS OF SUBMISSION: AN INTRODUCTION, the title said. Shay held it for a moment, trying to remember where to shelve it. The back of the book, when she looked, explained that it presented "A modern view of the evolving traditions and practices around submission, aimed at new and learning submissives." An idea struck her.
"Are we allowed to buy books?"
Zach gave her a small smile. "Sure, if we want."
"I'm going to buy this one," Shay said, and slipped a few dollars into the register and the book into her purse.
Four o'clock came more quickly than Shay had expected it would. The afternoon was busy, but manageable, and she and Zach managed to talk a bit more in between helping customers. It turned out that he was only twenty, and was living with his mother while he was at university. Shay was surprised to hear that he was at university at all, then stunned to hear that he was planning to go to medical school afterward to become a doctor. When she was twenty, she'd... she'd already been claimed for nearly two years then by her first dominant, and her only desire in life had been to make him happy, which she'd obviously failed at since he'd kept her for less than another year after that.
"Are you... are you going to be able to have time for a dom with all that?", she'd asked, still somewhat awed by the ambition of his goals.
He shrugged. "I hope so? But I really want to be, you know, something other than just a sub. It's like, there's this whole idea that subs are kind of just extensions of our doms, and I hate that. I want to be someone even when I'm not with someone, you know?"
Shay didn't know, no. She was dimly aware that there was a great deal of knowledge that she was missing, and she thought of the book inside her bag. She briefly considered stopping this conversation so she wouldn't say the wrong thing - at least until she'd had time to read - but then she thought of Miss Lily's first rule. It didn't apply except between the two of them, but it was probably a useful guide in this situation too.
"I was - I was that," Shay admitted.
"Was what?"
"Nothing but... nothing but a sub. That was everything. I just spent every hour of every day trying to make my dominant happy."
Zach laid a hand on her shoulder, looking sympathetic.
"If that's what you wanted, that's still okay - just because I don't want it for me doesn't mean you can't want it for you."
Shay felt something crack inside her, like a tectonic plate shifting and revealing a fault line that had been growing, hidden, all along.
"It... wasn't," she whispered.
"It wasn't what you wanted?"
She nodded, slowly. "I just didn't feel like I had any other choices. I was - even when I was little, I always heard that that's just what subs were for, and that you had to find a dominant to take care of you and then make them happy and that was..."
"... and that's what your whole life was," she added, voice breaking.
Zach pulled her into a loose hug.
"Well," he said, "you're here now, so something must have changed."
Shay nodded. "My Miss," she said.
"I'm looking forward to hearing about her," he said, "but I think something must have changed in you, too."
Had it? Shay tried to remember what she'd been like before. Her whole life before she'd come to Miss Lily seemed dreamlike - somehow out of focus in her mind, like it had never been fully real.
"I hope so," she said.
Suddenly, Zach looked up, let go of Shay, and stepped back away from her.
"Oh, sorry sir! How can I help you?"
Shay turned to see an elderly dom, with a female sub his age browsing the bookshelves a couple of steps behind him.
"No need to apologize," he said, smiling. "You looked like you were having a moment so we didn't want to interrupt."
"That's very gracious of you, sir. What can we do for you?"
"Oh, I'd like to buy a couple of books, that's all. Elsie, did you finish picking?"
The sub bowed her head slightly, offering him a book two-handed. "If this pleases you, sir," she said.
He took it, looked at it, nodded, and laid it on the counter along with the two books he'd been holding.
"These three."
"Of course, sir. Er, would it be alright with you if I had Shay work the register for you? It'll be her first time, so if you're in a hurry, I'm more than happy to do it."
"Oh! Yes, by all means. Elsie, if you'd like to sit, I'll come and fetch you."
"Thank you sir," the woman said, and as she turned Shay realized she walked with a cane. She made her way over to the cafe area and sat carefully in one of the armchairs.
Zach started to walk her through using the register: "Alright, Shay. First, we need to sign you in, so..."
A couple of fumbling minutes later, the transaction was done. Shay had done her best to memorize all the steps, and thought that perhaps she could do it herself the next time - it was a lot simpler than she'd been afraid it would be.
After the elderly couple had left, Zach yawned. "Oh," he said. "We were supposed to close a few minutes ago. It's past four."
She and Zach tidied up, Zach sent David a text to know they were closing, and then they both stepped out of the store, Zach locked the door, and they parted ways. Shay felt suddenly adrift in a sea of possibilities. She'd always been told what she was supposed to be - what she would be forced to be, really - and so she'd never really thought about what she actually /wanted/ to be. It was terrifying to think about, but also thrilling, in a strange way. She climbed the stairs up to Miss Lily's apartment, let herself in, and sat down heavily on the couch.
Lily wasn't surprised, this time, to find Shay kneeling by the front door of her apartment. She also managed not to be surprised by how happy Shay looked to see her. Work had been especially rough today but now her spirits lifted instantly, and she shut the door behind her, took off her shoes, set down her bag, and stroked Shay's hair.
"Welcome home, Miss."
"Thank you, Shay. When did you get home?"
"About an hour ago, Miss."
"You weren't kneeling that whole time, I hope?"
Shay shook her head. "I didn't think you'd want that, Miss."
Lily smiled. "Good judgement, Shay, although I do very much like you greeting me like this."
She saw Shay blush and lower her head slightly. "Thank you, Miss."
"Let's make dinner together," Lily said, extending a hand. "And I want to hear how your first day was!"
Lily savored the warm, pleasant glow in her heart. Shay was now properly fed and curled up on the couch next to her, head resting in Lily's lap and a blanket over her. She seemed half-asleep, but she was still awake enough to hold a conversation. She'd told Lily all about the bookstore, the customers she'd helped, and about Zach. Lily had been especially pleasantly surprised to hear that Shay had been able to help her coworker after he'd been shouted at by an irate domme. Shay's intelligence and ability to adapt awed her, and she felt tremendously lucky to have her in her life at all.
She moved her hand slightly, to Shay's neck, and gently hooked two of her fingers under the sub's unclaimed collar. The matte black material was smooth and soft to the touch, designed for continuous wear even while exercising or washing. Lily had never seen her without it - indeed, couldn't imagine what Shay might look like with her neck bare.
She tugged very lightly, and heard Shay's breathing catch. She laid her other hand on Shay's cheek.
"You like that," she said.
"Yes Miss," Shay murmured, and Lily could see her shift slightly under the blanket, moving herself closer.
"What does it feel like?"
Lily couldn't quite imagine. She'd only worn a collar herself once, when her mother had forced her to, and the experience had been almost the exact opposite of what Shay seemed to be feeling.
Shay let out a breath slowly.
"Like... home, Miss. Like belonging. Like being wanted."
Lily wrapped her grip all the way around Shay's collar, taking firm hold of it.
"You are wanted," she said, bending down to lay a kiss on the side of Shay's head.
"You do belong." Another kiss.
"And this is your home." A third kiss.
She felt Shay tremble. "Th - thank you, Miss. So much."
Lily stroked Shay's cheek gently, overcome with affection and what she admitted to herself was desire. The sub looked so perfect like this, sleepy, relaxed, comfortable, manifestly feeling safe and cared for. Lily wished she could spend the rest of her life this way.
"I..."
"Hm?"
"I love you, Miss."
"I love you too, Shay."
Lily leaned down, kissed Shay's forehead a final time.
"Let's go to bed," she said. "Together."
Very few things could have been more appealing to Shay than where she already was, but that idea was one of them. As soon as Miss Lily released her grip on her collar, Shay sat up, yawning, and got to her feet. She wasn't afraid, she realized. Nervous definitely, and excited even more definitely, but she felt no fear. That itself was so wonderous that she had trouble grasping it. Miss Lily led her, hand still gently wrapped around her collar, into her bedroom and shut the door.
"I know we need to brush our teeth and stuff," she said, "but there's something I need to do first. Kneel there." Shay needed no encouragement.
Miss Lily opened one of her closets, reached inside, and came back with a - a leash. Shay shivered; few of her experiences with being leashed were happy ones. Still, it was Miss Lily, so things would be alright.
The domme - her domme - stepped in front of her.
"Shay, what is rule one?"
"We tell the truth, Miss."
"Explain to me how that applies in play."
Shay had to think about it. "It means... I have to... I can't lie to you about whether I like something."
"Good," Miss Lily said, "but that's not everything. How else does it apply?"
Shay smiled slightly. "I didn't expect a quiz, Miss. Can I have a minute to think?"
Miss Lily giggled. "Sure. I'll wait."
Shay had to shut her eyes to pull her attention away from how Miss Lily looked standing over her. It was... intimidating, but in a pleasant way that she found difficult to understand.
"It means I have to tell you how I'm feeling," she said, finally, "even if you didn't ask, Miss."
"Very good! Most important of all, if you're ever feeling like you want to stop, I want you to tell me about it right away, okay?"
Shay frowned. "But I don't want to - if you're having fun, I don't want to stop you, Miss."
Miss Lily stroked her hair gently, still holding the leash in one hand. "Whether to stop or not is my decision, Shay," she said, "and you telling me how you're feeling doesn't take that decision away from me. Do you understand the distinction?"
"Not - not really, Miss."
Miss Lily leaned down and clipped the leash to the d-ring built into Shay's unclaimed collar.
"When you aren't enjoying something, Shay, then I can't - I can't enjoy it either. I don't mean that it has to always feel physically good for you, but if you don't want what we're doing then it feels terrible for me too. Does - does that make sense? Your trust and feeling of safety are what makes dominating you feel so good for me, so it doesn't work if those aren't there. That means that when you aren't feeling those things, I'll want to stop, too."
Shay looked up at Miss Lily, saw the concern on her face. What the domme was saying wasn't a - perspective? - that she'd heard before. She wished she'd had some time alone to start reading her book, but she hadn't, and now she was here. Perhaps this was the normal way, or perhaps it wasn't, but either way, she thought she understood what her Miss meant.
"It makes sense, Miss."
"Good. Come, let's brush our teeth and you can grab your pyjamas from your room."
"My - my pyjamas, Miss?"
"I'm not going to make you sleep naked with me, Shay, unless you want to."
Shay swallowed. "Can I - can I wear just my underwear, this time?"
"Of course. Anyway, we still need to do our teeth, so up you get."
Shay stood, but before she could turn to leave the room, Miss Lily tugged her gently closer with the leash and wrapped her in a tight hug.
"I'm so proud of you," she said.
Shay was at a loss for words. She hadn't actually... done anything, certainly not anything to be proud of.
"Thank you, Miss," she said, anyway. "I love you."
"I love you too, Shay. Come on, teeth brushing time."
Miss Lily tugged her towards the bed with gentle tension on the leash. Shay crawled onto the bed and laid down on one edge of the mattress.
"Shay?"
"Yes Miss?"
"You can lie closer to me than that, hon."
Shay nodded and scooted closer until she was pressed against Miss Lily. Miss Lily wrapped an arm around her, keeping the same steady tension on the leash. Shay could feel it tugging on her collar, could feel the soft pressure of the collar on the back of her neck. Unbidden, and indeed unwanted, she felt the sense-memory rise of wearing a... a choke collar, that squeezed her neck tighter and tighter when her leash was pulled, and the fear that she'd felt that she'd be strangled to death by it came rushing back to her, and she...
She shook herself. She was with Miss Lily.
"Shay? Are you okay?"
She was silent for a moment, then: "No, Miss."
"Can you let go of the leash for me, hon?"
Shay looked down, and saw that both her hands were wrapped around the leash, knuckles white, right below where it fastened to her collar, and that it was her that was applying the horrible squeezing pressure she still felt. She released her grip and felt herself breathe a bit more easily.
Miss Lily squeezed her gently. "I'm taking the leash off for now," she said, and unclipped it and put it aside.
Shay turned herself to face the other woman. "I'm sorry, Miss."
"That wasn't your fault," Miss Lily said, holding her protectively.
Shay was quite sure that it was, but she didn't want to be argumentative, so she said nothing.
Miss Lily kissed her softly on the forehead.
"Would you like to try being restrained a bit?"
Shay swallowed the reflexive "whatever pleases you, Miss" and tried to figure out how she felt. She was still nervous, and the... the memory of the choke collar had made things worse. She looked up at Miss Lily, saw the adoration in her soft gaze, and nodded. For Miss Lily, she could deal with some nerves and a bad memory or two.
Miss Lily turned away for a moment, reaching for something Shay couldn't see with one arm. She came back with a pair of cuffs, made of nylon and lined with some kind of soft-looking fabric. Shay had worn similar cuffs occasionally, although most of her dominants had favored either the plain metal kind that hurt a lot, or the leather ones that stayed on her wrists. Miss Lily looked down at Shay's hands. Obeying the implicit order, she held out both of her wrists in front of her. Miss Lily wrapped one of the cuffs around one of her wrists and fastened it shut, then fastened the other one shut on her other wrist.
Shay's first impression was of a gentle, pleasant pressure from the cuffs themselves. The material they were lined with was as soft as it had looked, and the sensation of having something wrapped around her wrists was quite comfortable. She held still, staring at her own hands.
"Tug on them a bit."
She tried pulling her hands apart, and found that she couldn't - while the cuffs were soft, they were also more than strong enough to hold her. She was... not helpless, exactly, since these cuffs she could easily take off herself if she wanted to, but still restrained. That was a very new feeling, to be bound yet able to escape if she wanted to. She wouldn't, of course, because Miss Lily wouldn't want her to, but - she could.
"Comfortable?"
"Yes Miss."
Miss Lily pulled her closer, and Shay curled herself into her domme.
"What are you thinking about?"
Shay was silent for a little while, ordering her thoughts.
"That I - that I could probably take these cuffs off I wanted to, Miss."
Miss Lily nodded. "You could, and if you really needed to, I expect that you would, because of rule two."
Shay shook her head. "I wouldn't - Miss, I wouldn't take off cuffs you put on me. Ever. Ever. Not without your permission."
"Well, if you ever need them off for something, I want you to ask me to do it, then. Not just this time, but every time."
"Yes, Miss."
Shay laid both her cuffed hands against her own collarbone. The presence of the cuffs, the feeling of being bound, was... good, she realized. It was strange, but she actually felt safer with Miss Lily now that she was less able to move. Being tied down, or tied up, had always been associated with fear for her - fear because something else bad was about to happen, usually, and she wouldn't be able to do anything about it, or even see it coming if she was blindfolded. Now, she didn't feel like anything bad was about to happen. In fact, she felt the opposite: being bound by Miss Lily felt like the first step of something loving and joyful.
"Miss?"
"Yes, Shay?"
"I still feel safe," she said.
Miss Lily's smile was brilliant. "I can't even tell you how that makes me feel, Shay. Do you - do you want to go further?"
Her voice shook, but: "Yes, Miss."
Miss Lily slowly let go of her, untangled herself, and sat up. Shay gazed up at her.
"Rule One, Shay."
"I mean it, Miss. I'm just - just nervous, but I do want to keep going."
Miss Lily took the cuffs binding Shay's wrists in one of her hands.
"Nervous is okay," she said. "We'll go slow and you'll tell me how things feel. I - I do want to hurt you," she said, tugging Shay's hands towards the head of her bed, "but only if you're... okay with that. It doesn't have to be tonight."
Miss Lily clipped something to the cuffs. "Tug."
Shay did so, and found that she couldn't move her hands more than a couple of inches. She tugged harder, but whatever her hands were attached to didn't move at all. Miss Lily grinned at her.
"Not going anywhere."
"No I'm not, Miss."
"Still feeling okay?"
Shay nodded.
Miss Lily moved to kneel straddling Shay's hips and looked down at her. "I'm going to touch you a bit more, and you're going to tell me if you don't like anything. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Miss."
Miss Lily leaned forward and laid both of her hands on Shay's forearms, just beneath the cuffs on her wrists. The warmth of her fingertips made Shay's skin tingle. She felt her own hands curl into fists. She was so vulnerable like this, and it felt... it felt dangerous, but in a way that thrilled her rather than scaring her. She pulled on the cuffs again slightly, reassuring herself that she still couldn't move.
Miss Lily slowly drew her fingers down Shay's forearms, pausing to squeeze just above her elbows. She let go, then Shay felt Miss Lily's nails resting against the insides of her wrists.
"I'm going to hurt you just a little bit, Shay. If you want me to stop, you are going to tell me that."
Shay shivered. Miss Lily didn't usually talk to her like that, like her orders were inevitabilities. It made her feel... weak, small. Yielding. Miss Lily would take care of her, she reminded herself, and she, Shay, would be safe in her keeping.
"Acknowledge an order properly, Shay."
"Sorry, Miss. I will, Miss."
Miss Lily slowly, achingly, drew lines down the insides of Shay's forearms with her fingernails. Pain blossomed in the wake of her hands, making Shay gasp. She felt she could see a new, strange aspect on Miss Lily's face, something primal and dangerous, some new depth to her steady gaze that hadn't been there before. Shay squirmed, acutely aware of how exposed and helpless she'd let the other woman render her. She saw Miss Lily's lips part slightly, saw the glint of her teeth. Miss Lily wrapped her hands around Shay's elbows again, and the pain slowly faded.
After a moment, Miss Lily said: "Good? Bad?"
Shay swallowed, nodded. "Good, Miss."
Miss Lily smiled - a deadly smile, from a woman who Shay suddenly realized had her entirely in her power, who could probably tear her apart with no instrument but her hands if she chose to do so. She felt her own anxiety starting to rise - but then Miss Lily laid one of those hands lightly on her neck, wrapped two fingers around her collar, leaned down, and kissed her.
Shay blushed, too surprised to kiss her back at first, but Miss Lily's kiss was steady and she returned it, grounding herself in the tender feeling of her domme's lips on her own.
A moment later, Miss Lily sat up again, staring down at her, an affectionate look on her face.
"You'll always be safe with me, Shay," she said.
Shay nodded, doing her best to feel it. "I know, Miss."
"You're shivering, Shay. Are you cold?"
"No, Miss. I'm nervous, Miss."
Miss Lily laid a hand on one of Shay's forearms again, fingernails pressed so lightly against Shay's tingling skin that she could just barely feel them.
"What are you nervous about?"
"You're going to hurt me more, Miss."
"Do you like being hurt?"
"I'm - not sure, Miss. It... hurt my body and felt good in my mind? Is that right?"
Something flickered in Miss Lily's eyes. "The mind part is what matters to me. Say more about that."
"I feel like... you could hurt me a lot if you wanted to, Miss. More than I could take, and that's scary, but I know you - you wouldn't, and that feels safe." She tugged on the wrist cuffs, by way of punctuation.
"That's exactly right," Miss Lily said. "I could hurt you a lot. In fact, Shay," - she leaned down, bringing her face closer to Shay's - "I very much want to, and maybe some day I will. Taking pain is something that I'll help you practice, because being able to take more pain will allow you to please me more."
"Yes, Miss," Shay replied. "Pleasing you is - is what I want to do, more than anything."
Miss Lily kissed her forehead again. "Music to my ears, Shay. Now, I want you to be very honest with me: do you want to keep going tonight? It will not upset me if you say no."
Shay thought hard for a moment. She was, despite Miss Lily's reassurances, still anxious and apprehensive about what was going to happen, but she was also very curious what her Miss intended for her. Besides, in her experience, the doing of something was often less frightening than the anticipation of it, so if she didn't do it tonight, she'd just worry about it until she did.
"I do, Miss."
"Good girl," Miss Lily purred. "I'm going to bite you now."
Shay had been bitten before, quite a few times, so she felt that she knew what to expect, but it turned out she was quite wrong. Miss Lily laid her teeth against Shay's neck, just touching, and then slowly slowly slowly started to bite down. The pressure of the sharp points of her teeth went from light (and really, Shay thought, quite pleasant) through uncomfortable and gradually up to such a level of pain that Shay had trouble keeping still. She whimpered, struggling not to move, muscles straining against the cuffs. Surely Miss Lily had bitten clean through her skin and she was bleeding on the bed?
And then, just as slowly as she'd applied it to begin with, Miss Lily eased the pressure of her bite and gradually let go of Shay's neck. She sat up, and to Shay's surprise, blood was not dripping from her front teeth. Miss Lily gently touched the mark she'd left with a fingertip, making Shay flinch.
"Beautiful," Miss Lily said. Shay let out a slow breath, releasing some tension. That had hurt but it hadn't been so bad - in fact, it had felt... good, really. The slow but steady build had made it so much easier to take, and the feel of Miss Lily's mouth, hot and wet on her own skin, had been heavenly. She squirmed, recognizing her own arousal for what it was.
"Another?"
"Yes, Miss Lily, please."
Miss Lily gave her that predatory grin again, leaned over her, and Shay let a soft moan escape her lips as she felt her domme's jaws closing on the other side of her throat. Shay curled her hands into fists and pressed her heels into the bed, trying to give herself some distance from the overpowering sensations, but Miss Lily was relentless, biting down harder and harder until every thought was gone from Shay's mind. She heard herself moan again, mixed pain and pleasure driving her to try to curl herself up, but Miss Lily was on top of her, and her cuffed hands were immovable.
Miss Lily slowly let go of her throat, then laid a languid kiss over the place she'd bitten. She sat up, looked down at Shay.
"Still feeling good?"
"Oh, yes, Miss," Shay said, breathily. Her chest was heaving, she realized, her own breath coming in shuddering gasps as the ache from her throat slowly ebbed. Miss Lily kissed her softly.
"You're so beautiful when you're in pain," she said.
Shay felt herself blush. "Thank you, Miss. I'm glad you like how I suffer."
To Shay's surprise, Miss Lily blushed in return.
"I love you, Shay," she said.
"I love you too, Miss."
Miss Lily reached above Shay's head and unclipped the cuffs from her bed, but left Shay's hands bound together.
"Let's take a little break," she said, rolling off Shay and onto her side. She pulled Shay into a close embrace. Shay curled up, and Miss Lily kissed her once more. Shay laid her cuffed hands against Miss Lily's chest, right below her collarbone. Her breathing slowly came back to normal, and the pleasant heat between her legs gradually faded away.
Lily studied the skin of Shay's neck, watching the neat circular patterns of bruises blossom there. The sub - her sub - was staring past her, eyes slightly unfocused, cheeks flushed, tiny tremors still running through her body. She was the most wonderful sight Lily had ever seen. Lily laid a slow kiss over each bite mark, enjoying the way Shay flinched slightly from even that light touch in the ravaged skin of her throat.
Lily ran her hands gently down Shay's sides, down her ribs, across the flat plane of her stomach; she carefully avoided touching either Shay's bra or her panties. That - sex - was certainly a conversation to have a different time. She laid her hands lightly on Shay's hipbones.
"You're so gorgeous," she said, making Shay blush again.
"Thank you Miss. You are too."
Lily laid still, hands resting on Shay's hips, while she let her own desire to inflict pain ebb. It had been getting increasingly difficult to hold herself back, and she had felt her own control starting to slip. The desire to dig her claws in, to tear skin, to make Shay cry and beg for more or less or both had been pounding in her veins, driving her forward - but she couldn't. Maybe some day, she told that part of herself, but not now, and especially not now with Shay. She was far, far too precious for what the worst parts of what Lily's nature wanted.
She exhaled, breathing out some of her inner tension. Shay looked blissful.
Lily managed to keep her voice steady, confident: "You liked that?"
Shay nodded. "Oh yes, Miss. Especially being bitten."
Lily gathered Shay's cuffed hands in one of her own. "Did - did you really? Or is that what you think I want to hear?"
"Yes, Miss. It hurt a lot, but in a nice way, and I got - got pretty turned on by it."
Lily was shocked. It must have shown on her face, because Shay looked away from her, blush deepening.
"Is that... is that okay, Miss?"
"It's - it's more than okay, Shay. It's wonderful. I just..."
"You're crying, Miss?"
Lily shook her head. "I'm... sorry hon, I just - I have a lot of feelings about that."
Shay shifted slightly, pressed her bound hands against Lily's chest, and kissed her. Lily wrapped both her arms around her tightly and squeezed her.
"Are they good feelings, Miss?"
"It's complicated, I guess. I... you know I wanted to hurt you, Shay, and I was so worried you wouldn't like it. I would still have - have wanted to have you as mine, even if you didn't like it, but I feel so... so lucky that you do."
"I'm glad too, Miss. Even if I hated it I would still have wanted to do it for you, but it's... well, it's definitely more fun to like how I serve."
Lily giggled. "I love you, Shay."
"I love you too, Miss."
Lily kissed her submissive again, then detached her wrist cuffs from each other, but left them fastened around Shay's forearms. "Let's get ready for bed. You're sleeping with me tonight."
Shay's answering smile was one of the most gorgeous things Lily had ever seen.
Lily woke before sunrise, silently sat up, and stretched. Shay was sleeping peacefully, curled into a ball on the other side of the bed. Lily watched her sleep for a moment, savoring the peaceful smile on her face. She'd never seen Shay as relaxed as the sub looked to be now, and she drank in the feeling that she'd had a hand in that. The cuffs she'd left on Shay's wrists as they slept gave her a thrill, too - a reminder of what they'd done last night, and a hopeful sign for more of the same in the future. It would be nice, she thought, to have Shay sleep this way again.
She leaned down and kissed Shay's forehead to wake her. Shay woke with a start at first, but then she saw Lily and broke into a bright smile.
"Good morning Miss," she said, sitting up. She rubbed at her wrists. Lily took both of Shay's hands in her own and squeezed them.
"How do the cuffs feel?"
"Comfortable, Miss. And... comforting."
"I'm going to have you wear them when you sleep more, then."
"Yes, Miss," Shay said. "Thank you."
Lily grabbed both of Shay's hands, pulled them together, and clipped the cuffs together. "I'll be able to do this whenever I want to, you know."
Even in the dim light of her bedroom, she could see Shay blush. "Yes, Miss."
Lily unfastened each cuff in turn, pulled them from Shay's wrists, and put them carefully away.
"You shower first," she said, "then while I shower you make us both breakfast."
"Yes Miss," Shay said. Lily thought she saw a tiny shiver.
"Alright, Shay?"
"Oh, Yes, Miss. I just - I just like when you talk to me like that."
Lily grinned. "I'll be sure to do more of it, then."
By the time Lily had finished showering, her apartment smelled of coffee, eggs and toasted bread. She dressed and came into the kitchen right as Shay was laying both plates on the table.
"It smells wonderful," she said, taking her seat and immediately starting to eat.
"Thank you, Miss." Shay was standing at the sink, scrubbing at the pan she'd just used.
Lily thought about asking why, but she was still in a bit of a mood from the previous night, so instead she simply said: "Eat with me, Shay."
Shay immediately put the pan down in the sink, turned, and sat at the table. "Yes Miss. I'm sorry Miss, I was just trying to clean as I went."
Lily smiled. "I'm not angry - I was just telling you what I wanted."
"Yes Miss."
Shay needed to leave for work a bit before Miss Lily did in order to not be late, which meant that instead of seeing her dominant off, she got a goodbye kiss from Miss Lily and a reminder that her domme expected her to do her best. Warmth curled in Shay's stomach as Miss Lily handed her the lunch she'd assembled while Shay had been getting ready. Having someone else feed and care for her was new, and made her feel so special that she had difficulty even putting it into words. Just the idea that Miss Lily, so beautiful and intelligent and driven and... so many other things, would spend her time making lunch for Shay, ensuring she was properly fed, brought a smile to her face and gladness to her heart.
She arrived outside First Chapter a little bit before the start of her shift. Zach was already inside, tidying up and preparing for the day. Tomorrow was supposed to be Shay's first time working alone, although both Zach and David had promised that they'd be reachable by phone or text if she needed them for anything. She let herself in, put her bag down behind the counter by the register, and greeted Zach.
"Morning!", he chirped. "How are you?"
"Amazing," Shay said, starting to prepare the little cafe area.
"Amazing? Ooh, something good happen?"
Shay grinned. "I had a... date with my Miss, I guess."
"Oh, wow," Zach said. "That must have been some date. You look really... I don't even know what."
Shay giggled. "I had a good time, and I think she did as well."
"I'm really happy for you," Zach said, smiling back at her. His gaze flickered downwards for an instant. "Um. You have some pretty great marks, too."
Shay felt herself blush deeply red. "I - I do?"
"There's a mirror in the bathroom, but yeah, you do."
Shay rushed into the bathroom. On either side of her throat she had a dark, circular bruise in the precise pattern of Miss Lily's teeth. She'd admired them this morning, reminded herself to wear something high-necked, and then completely forgotten to do so. She grimaced at the mirror and dug out her phone to text Miss Lily:
After a moment, Miss Lily replied:
Shay resumed cleaning, glancing anxiously up at the door every so often. After about ten minutes, she saw Miss Lily waving through the front window. She ducked outside, took the offered sweater, and thanked her domme profusely.
"Of course, hon. I like doing things for you."
That seemed quite backwards to Shay, but Miss Lily was just like that sometimes. She thanked her again, accepted an affectionate kiss on her forehead, and went back to work.
"Is that her?"
She nodded to Zach, trying to figure out how to properly clean the bottom of the pastry case. "Mhm."
"I hope I get to meet her properly some day."
"I hope so too! I think you'd like her."
Zach smiled. "Opening time," he said, flipping the sign on the door.
"Morning James! Looking very sharp today, I have to say."
Lily saw the receptionist blush. "Oh, thank you, ma'am."
"Have you seen Maple around at all? Do you know if she's in today?"
"Ah, I haven't seen her. I can check her schedule for you, ma'am. One moment."
Lily stood and waited, leaning on the high reception desk, deliberately not watching James while he worked. Instead, she watched the other arriving Mark Sterling employees. It was near the start of the workday, so there was a constant stream of faces she knew and faces she didn't.
"Devon?"
Her manager, seeming harried, looked up from his phone. "Oh, hey Lily."
"Aren't you on vacation?"
She saw a pained look pass across his normally calm and composed face, just for an instant, before his expression smoothed back into its usual half-smile.
"I had to cancel it," he said. "Family stuff came up."
She frowned. She wanted to ask more, but she shouldn't - he was her manager, for one, and like many neutrals he would not like it if he felt a dominant was treating him like they would a submissive. Instead, she said:
"Good luck."
James spoke up from behind the reception desk: "She's in today, ma'am. She must've gotten in before I did."
Lily turned, tapped the desk. "Thank you. I'm sure she'll turn up around lunchtime, anyway," she said, smiling.
James returned her smile. "Anything else I can do for you ma'am?"
"No thank you," Lily said. "You've been very helpful."
James blushed again, dipping his head slightly. "Of course, ma'am."
At lunch, Lily dug out her phone to send Shay an affectionate text. When she unlocked it, she was pleasantly surprised:
Lily replied:
She messaged Shay:
And a few minutes later:
She told Evelyn, who was overjoyed to invite both Lily and Shay over to her apartment for lunch. Smiling, Lily slipped her phone back into her purse just as Maple appeared at the door of her office.
"Hello, ma'am."
"Hello, Maple! Having a good day so far?"
"Ah - mostly yes, ma'am. Work has been fine, anyway."
"Hm. Would you like to eat lunch together today?"
"Of course, ma'am."
The weather was gloomy - not particularly good for eating on the roof deck - so Lily and Maple met in one of the common areas instead. Maple, unprompted, brought Lily a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup, and had also brought her own lunch box.
"Oh, my favorite! Thank you so much, Maple."
Maple grinned. "I remembered you'd asked for it last time the kitchen had it."
"It makes me feel special that you remembered," Lily said, "even though I'm sure you just have an excellent memory."
Maple laughed. "I do have a good memory, ma'am, but I do also go out of the way to remember your favorites."
Maple opened her lunch box and unpacked the containers of food onto the table as Lily took her first bite of her sandwich. Before Lily had finished chewing enough to speak, Maple said:
"I can already tell you have some good news, ma'am."
"And from earlier, I have a guess that you have some not-so-good news, Maple. Is that so?"
"Ah... I'm afraid so, ma'am. Just something with my family."
Lily gave her a sympathetic smile. "Do you want to tell me about it?"
Maple looked down at her food, not saying anything for a little while. Eventually, she said:
"My... my Mistress's husband Alan is sick."
Lily thought she already knew the answer, but she asked anyway: "Is it serious?"
Maple swallowed. "It's not the kind of sick you get better from."
"Oh, Maple," Lily said. "I'm - I'm so sorry. That must be so painful."
Maple nodded. "He's... he's family, and he's one of my best friends. And my Mistress is - she's doing her best to be strong for both of us, but I can tell she's heartbroken too."
Lily reached across the table, took one of Maple's hands, and squeezed.
"Would a hug help?"
Maple sniffled, nodded. Lily pushed her chair back, stepped around the table, and took the sub in a loose embrace. She stood, holding Maple, saying nothing, waiting for the other woman to pull away. Maple leaned on Lily, clutching her. Lily laid a hand lightly on the back of her head and tucked Maple's head down slightly, the way she'd learned to.
"Alright?"
"Yes ma'am," Maple said, hanging onto Lily like she was a life preserver.
"As long as you need," Lily murmured, enjoying the feeling of being able to take care of Maple like this. They both stood for a little while, and eventually Maple loosened her grip. She pulled a handkerchief from a pocket of her dress and dabbed at her eyes.
"Thank you, ma'am," she said.
"Any time, Maple. I do want to make sure you get to eat your lunch, though."
"I'm... not really feeling hungry, ma'am."
Lily frowned a little bit. "In that case I'd like you to sit with me while I eat, and if you get hungry, you can start eating too."
"Yes ma'am."
Lily started working her way through her grilled cheese and soup. Maple watched her eat, seeming uncomfortable and still looking upset. After a moment, she said:
"You had good news, ma'am?"
"I did, but I would feel weird sharing it now."
"I could - I could use hearing some good news, ma'am."
Lily smiled shyly. "Fair enough. Anyway, do you remember the sub I met?"
Maple nodded. "That your mom set you up with?"
Lily rolled her eyes. "Ugh, yes. Anyway, we had a... a date last night and it went very very well."
"I'm really glad, ma'am. You deserve it."
Lily grinned, bit into her sandwich again. She ate quietly, not looking at Maple, and was shortly rewarded with the sound of Maple starting to eat as well.
Shay awoke just before the dawn on Sunday morning, feeling contented and peaceful. Miss Lily was still asleep next to her, snoring adorably. Shay smiled and slipped out of bed, trying not to wake her. She stripped off her bra and panties, surprising herself with how comfortable she felt being naked around the other woman, then went to shower.
Shay knew that Miss Lily liked to take mornings slowly when she had the opportunity to, which was not nearly as often as she liked. She decided she would bring Miss Lily breakfast in bed today, and if her domme liked that she would make a habit of it. She hummed quietly to herself as she prepared a bowl of yogurt & granola, cut up some fruit, and brewed a pot of coffee. She made herself some toast and more fruit, as well, since she knew Miss Lily would insist that Shay eat at the same time as she did.
Balancing plates and mugs carefully, she carried the food into the bedroom. Miss Lily was just starting to stir. It pleased Shay that her own body had woken her up at the right time to do this for Miss Lily without her having set an alarm or even consciously thought about it before today. She laid the plate and mug she'd prepared for Miss Lily on her bedside table, put her own food and coffee next to it, and kneeled by the side of the bed.
"Morning, Miss," she said quietly.
Miss Lily slowly blinked herself awake. "Good morning, Shay."
"Breakfast in bed?"
"Oh, that would be lovely..."
Shay glanced sideways at the food and coffee. "Already done, Miss."
Miss Lily sat up, pulled her knees up a bit, and leaned back against the headboard of her bed. She picked up her mug and took a sip.
"That was very thoughtful of you, Shay. Thank you," she said, smiling, taking the bowl of granola Shay had prepared for her. Shay blushed, folded herself into a crosslegged sitting position on the floor, took her own plate and started eating.
"Is that comfortable?"
Shay chewed some toast, thinking. "Physically not so much, Miss. The hardwood isn't that nice to kneel or sit on. But... I like being on the floor by you."
Miss Lily gave her a thoughtful look, then reached out and gently petted her. Shay shut her eyes, enjoying the gentle touch.
"I like it too," Miss Lily said, "but I don't want you to be uncomfortable unless it's on purpose. We'll get you something soft to sit on, maybe on our way back from lunch today."
"Thank you, Miss," Shay said, marvelling at the consideration Miss Lily had shown yet again. It astonished her how thoughtful her domme was and how much she obviously cared about her.
Miss Lily finished eating, but she lingered over her coffee, reading on her tablet. Shay, once she had also finished eating, took both plates into the kitchen, washed them, put them away, then returned to the bedroom with her book. She sat on the floor again, leaning against the bed, and read quietly. Miss Lily idly petted her, seeming profoundly satisfied. Shay let herself bask in the warm, wholesome feeling of having done good service for her domme, and soon found herself drifting into a pleasant sleepy state.
Lily was excited to introduce Shay to her longtime best friend. They stopped briefly at a bakery on the way to Evelyn's apartment to pick up a pear tart, which she remembered as being Max's favorite. Shay seemed quite nervous. Lily had done her best to reassure her, but she supposed it wasn't surprising that the sub was nervous about meeting a new person, and a domme friend of hers at that. She hoped that having Max around would set Shay at ease a bit, although Max could be... a lot, sometimes. Still, they couldn't simply keep to themselves forever.
Max opened the door moments after Lily knocked.
"Morning, Miss! And... guest!"
Lily giggled. "Max, this is Shay; Shay, this is Max, Evelyn's submissive." A glance told her that Shay's eyes were wide and she was staring, presumably at Max's neon mohawk and matching collar. Lily gently nudged her.
"Oh! Er, nice to meet you, Max," Shay said, seemingly unsure what to do. Lily supposed she wasn't used to being introduced to other submissives when on social visits to dominants; the expectation would have been that she spend her time attending to her own dom, rather than befriending other subs and distracting them from their duties as well. Fortunately, Max was usually aggressively friendly, and in any case was almost always... "self-distracted" from their duties, which Evelyn seemed to take entirely in stride and love them all the more for.
Max grinned. "And you, Shay. Come on in!" They led both Lily and Shay into the living room, where Evelyn was sitting on one end of the couch, coffee cup and tablet in hand. She looked up when they entered.
"Lily!"
She put down her coffee and tablet, stood, and rushed to hug Lily, who eagerly returned her affection. After she'd let go, she looked at Shay, then at Lily, then at Shay again.
"And you must be Shay," she said.
"Yes, ma'am."
"And that... looks like it might be a pie?"
Shay looked down at her own hands. "Oh, um. Yes, ma'am! It is a gift from Miss Lily."
"Thank you," Evelyn said. She nodded to Max, who took it from Shay's hands. "Ooh, pear," they said, taking it into the kitchen. Evelyn turned back to Shay.
"Would you also like a hug? No is an okay answer."
Lily saw Shay's eyes flicker. "Rule one, hon," Lily said quietly. A moment later, Shay said:
"No thank you, ma'am."
Evelyn nodded and sat back down on the couch. "Thank you for telling me."
She gestured for Lily to take the other end of the couch, which she did. Shay stood, looking uncertain; Evelyn spotted that, and said "Max, honey, get a second pillow for Shay please."
"Already on it," Max said. Lily saw Shay flinch at the... very informal mode of address, watching Evelyn warily, as though expecting her to lash out at Max at any moment. A few seconds later, Max came back in carrying a thick round pillow. They laid it on the floor in front of the couch next to Lily's feet, then took up their own place on their own pillow, leaning slightly against Evelyn's legs.
Lily inclined her head towards the new pillow, and Shay knelt on it, then, seeing Max sitting cross-legged instead, shifted to match their posture. Lily laid a reassuring hand on the back of her neck and felt the tension there.
Evelyn was very eager to catch up on each other's lives, and Lily felt herself relax into the conversation with her best friend. She told Evelyn what had happened when they'd visited her mother to get Shay's papers, and saw the other domme's knuckles whiten and her fists clench.
"She's so nuts. I can't believe you turned out so... you know, normal, after growing up with her."
"Partly your fault, I think."
Evelyn grinned. "We are a shining example of normality, aren't we, Max?"
Max smiled, eyes still shut, looking blissful as Evelyn petted them. "Definitely."
"Speaking of shining examples, Max, can you fix lunch?"
"Sure thing, Miss."
Evelyn watched Max disappear into the kitchen, fond expression on her face. She turned back to Lily and Shay, pulling one of her legs up and wrapping her arms around it.
"Shay," she said, "would you maybe like to help Max in the kitchen?"
Shay looked up at Lily, evidently uncertain. "Miss?"
"Go," she said. "I'll be here."
"Yes Miss."
Once Shay too had disappeared into the kitchen, Evelyn scooted closer to Lily and leaned against her. Lily, somewhat surprised, put an arm around her and squeezed.
"I've missed you," Evelyn said, by way of explanation. "And I... I kind of need a hug after hearing about that stuff with your mom. I can't believe she hurt Shay in front of you."
Lily felt the old anger rekindled a bit. "I couldn't believe it either," she said.
"Is she always that quiet? I don't think she's said a word that wasn't an answer to a direct question."
"She's... she's still pretty steeped in the whole 'seen but not heard' thing, I think. She's pretty talkative when it's just me, now, but it took her a while to open up."
"Ugh," Evelyn said. "Can you imagine not wanting to have your sub talk?"
Lily laughed. "Can you imagine trying to get Max not to?"
Evelyn grinned. "That's why we own such an impressive collection of gags."
There was a quiet moment. Lily left her arm draped around Evelyn, enjoying the simple closeness with her best friend. Dominants generally didn't show physical affection with each other, outside of a quick hug now and then - in fact, Lily thought, even though she'd known Evelyn for years and years she had probably touched her less in that time than she had Shay in the past week alone.
"I hope they're doing okay in there," she said.
"No smoke, no fire alarm, no yelling," Evelyn said, "so it can't be that bad, right?"
Lily giggled. In reality, Max was exceptionally talented in the kitchen and, despite their flippant attitude, Lily knew well that they were careful and disciplined where it counted. She was worrying about how Shay was getting along - she knew Max could be a lot, socially, and she really did want Shay to get along with and like both Evelyn and her sub.
"So we basically just want to julienne the rest of the vegetables," Max said, stirring the pan they had on the stove, "and we'll use them to add a little color and crunch. Do you want to do that part?"
"Um," Shay said. "I, um. If you'll show me how, I can."
"Oh! Yeah, sure. Here." They set the pan down, gave it a final quick stir, then picked up a paring knife. "So you basically just want to cut like this, and then this, then arrange like this and cut like this and you end up with a bunch of pieces like the size of matchsticks. Think you can do that?"
Shay really, really did not think she could. What she wanted was to leave the kitchen and go back to Miss Lily, but... she also wanted to be a better submissive, and she knew she liked cooking for Miss Lily, so she gathered her courage, made herself stay put, and instead said:
"Can you show me again but slower?"
"Yeah, totes. Watch," Max said, demonstrating. Shay was impressed by the graceful and precise way they handled the knife - clearly the result of long practice.
"I think I can do it now," Shay said. She picked up a single peeled carrot and tried to replicate Max's motions. She was very pleased that she got more or less the same result they had, although it took her three times as long. Max beamed, though.
"You've got the technique," Max said. "The rest is just practice."
Shay smiled. "Thank you for teaching me."
"No worries," Max said. "Part of the job."
Shay started cutting, focusing on working safely and doing the motions properly rather than being quick.
"Part of the job?"
"Mhm," Max said, picking the pan up for a moment to swirl its contents. "I mean, sorta literally, because I'm an actual chef at work, but also we're like, supposed to teach each other, you know?"
"We are?"
Shay had, in the past, been instructed by other submissives who were in service to the same dominant as her, but usually at the explicit request of their dom. She'd been taught a few other things informally, but most of her education had been either at school or at her dominant's behest.
Max put the pan down, rummaged in the fridge, pulled out a couple of cartons, and dumped the contents into a mixing bowl.
"Yeah," they said. "I mean, it's like, if I can help another sub learn something new or be better for their dom or whatever, I definitely want to do that. We have to stick together, sub solidarity and that stuff."
Shay nodded, although she didn't really get it. Max didn't seem to mind since they went right on speaking.
"And on top of that, you know, Lily's one of my best friends and definitely Evelyn's best friend, and so teaching you to do stuff will probably make her happier, so that's good too. Definitely into making Lily happy, over here."
That part Shay did understand.
"Makes sense," she said, finishing chopping - julienneing? - the small pile of carrots and bell peppers. She picked up the cutting board and offered it to Max.
"Looks great," they said, taking it from her. "Whisk the stuff in the bowl for a sec while I plate." They pulled four mismatched plates from a cupboard and started dishing noodles onto them, working so quickly Shay almost couldn't keep track of their movements.
"What's - is sub solidarity what it sounds like?"
Shay felt embarassed by her own question, like she was asking about something she was supposed to already know. Max, focusing intently on their work, didn't show any surprise at the question. They replied slowly: "It's the idea that we have to help and support each other, especially against dominants sometimes."
"W - why?"
Max finished preparing all four meals. The dishes would not have looked out of place in a restaurant, except that the plates, silverware and chopsticks were all completely different in style and size. One of the forks Shay was handed to set on the table had a plastic handle in the shape of a cartoon character.
Max gave her a sympathetic look. "Because they don't always treat us well," they said, "and because our nature kinda inclines us to let them get away with it, so we have to look out for each other a bit. You know?"
Shay frowned, trying to connect what Max was saying to her own experiences and failing.
"C'mon," Max said, gesturing to two of the plates. "We'll talk about it over food. I bet the dommes are both hungry and I know I am."
Shay nodded, picked up two of the plates, and followed them out of the kitchen.
Max and Shay set the table together. Shay was surprised to see Miss Lily and Evelyn cuddled up on the couch. Both dommes watched their subs work, smiling in that way dominants sometimes did, and once they'd finished, Max stood by one of the chairs. Shay followed their cue. Evelyn disentangled herself from Miss Lily, and the dommes came and took a pair of the chairs across from each other. Once they had, Max sat as well, so Shay did too.
"It looks amazing, you two," Evelyn said. "Lo mein?"
Max grinned. "We put a bit of a twist on it flavor-wise, but yeah, it's basically lo mein. For dessert we really made a sauce for the pear tart that Lily and Shay brought."
"Can't wait," Miss Lily said, picking up her chopsticks.
After the first bite, Shay knew she needed to learn to make this herself. The look on Miss Lily's face confirmed it - her dominant looked like she was in heaven.
"It's so good," her domme said, between bites. Shay felt a small glow of pride that she'd helped make a meal that Miss Lily had liked, even though she couldn't have done it on her own - yet, anyway. Shay saw Max blushing lightly too.
"Great work as always, honey," Evelyn said, addressing Max. Miss Lily ate slowly and neatly, as though trying hard not to make a mess, but Evelyn ate the exact opposite way, with obvious enjoyment and great gusto. Shay saw the clear affection for her on Max's face.
"I was just telling Shay about sub solidarity in the kitchen," Max said.
Evelyn replied, "the group? or the concept?"
"Oh, I didn't actually mention the group. Um, Shay, it was also an activist group at the university Evelyn and I went to that did like... sub's rights protests, awareness, fundraising, that sort of stuff."
To Shay's shock, Evelyn gave Max a hard look. "Honey, we talked about this."
Max swallowed, paused. "Sorry, Miss. It was an activist group that I founded and ran. Is that better?"
Evelyn laughed, all traces of severity gone from her expression. "Perfect. Don't undersell yourself, honey."
"Yes, Miss. Anyway, Shay, there was a... have you ever heard of the court case, Spears versus University of Chicago?"
Shay shook her head. "What was it?"
"Ah, it's a long story, but the point was, it ruled that the laws that specifically protected female submissives more than other submissives were discriminatory, so all the states had to rewrite their sub-protection laws to take gender out of it."
"Max...," Evelyn said, in a warning tone.
Max sighed. "Fine! Ruin my surprise! Anyway, Max Spears, nice to meet you."
"Wait," Shay said. "You were the Spears in the case!?"
Max nodded, grinning. "Couldn't have done it without Evelyn, but yeah, I was. I can't say I would recommend being the plaintiff in a submissive rights court case, really, but I'm glad I did it."
Shay was well aware that she was staring. She hadn't heard of the case Max mentioned, but it sounded like a big deal.
"That's so cool," she said. The idea that Max had made things better for every sub in the country, everywhere, through their own personal bravery was astonishing. She'd never really thought of subs as capable of that kind of thing before.
"Tell her how you met," Miss Lily said, between bites. "It's a cute story."
Max blushed. "Do you want to tell it, Evelyn?"
"Sure," Evelyn said, grinning. "I was... I first heard about Max because of subsol. They were leading the group and so they were very visible on the campus, and also they weren't any less, er, colorful than they are now visually either, so - very eye-catching, in more ways than one. I met them in person at one of the subsol protests, but it was - at the time, it was a big thing to them to be unclaimed, and so they'd kind of famously refused to have anything other than one-night dates with dominants."
Evelyn cleared her throat. "Anyway. We, um, had one of those one-night dates, and I... I knew I wanted more, but like I said, being unclaimed was a big thing to them so it took me forever to get a second date."
Max broke in. "That was because I was worried about how interested I was in her, too, just so that's clear."
Evelyn giggled. "Too hot to date, over here. So, we had our second date and it was just as good, and we... it wasn't as long before our third one, and then our fourth one. Eventually we both just sort of found that we were in a relationship. I think it was like, our ninth date where Max asked if we were dating," she finished, laughing.
Max smiled. "And I - I realized that belonging to someone didn't have to mean giving up what I cared about doing."
"That's so romantic," Shay said.
Max replied: "Right? Evelyn's great at romantic, trust me."
There was a moment of pleasant silence, then Max stood abruptly. "Looks like we're all done with the mains, so I'll make dessert happen."
"So," Lily said as she stepped out of Evelyn's apartment building. "What did you think?"
"I think that Max could run a cooking school, Miss."
Lily laughed. "They really are very talented. What else?"
"It was really fun to get to spend time with both of them. They seem like a good couple, Miss."
"Oh yes," Lily said. "I don't think I've ever seen a better matched pair. You should've seen their wedding."
"Oh?"
"I'll just say... the theme was tie-dye. See if you can get one of them to show you the pictures some time."
Shay giggled. Lily took her hand and squeezed. "I'm really glad you had fun," she said, tenderly. "They're my best friends and I really wanted you to like them."
Shay squeezed her hand back. "I did. What are we doing for the rest of the day, Miss?"
"How about we look around the city some more? I know you'd wanted to."
"I'd love that, Miss."
Lily led Shay in an expanding spiral around her apartment, pointing out landmarks, parks, and all her favorite places in the area. Shay gave the impression of trying to memorize everything, which Lily privately thought was a bit excessive - certainly it had taken her months of living here to really know her way around - but was also adorable, so she said nothing.
They stopped into Good Morning Sunshine, Lily's favorite coffee shop, and Lily introduced Shay to the manager, Jessica, who was luckily working that day. She wasn't a friend, exactly, but she was a... person who was in Lily's life, in the way that baristas sometimes are. The two of them had had occasional conversations in the past about their personal lives, which Lily figured counted as closeness. Jessica grinned at her when she introduced Shay and gave her a knowing smile.
"Since you're here, can I get either of you anything?"
Lily laughed. "Shay, are you feeling like a hot drink?"
"Yes, Miss," Shay said, sounding slightly distracted. Lily followed her gaze to the community bulletin board on the wall.
"I'll have a black coffee, cream and sugar, and let's get her a chai latte."
"You got it," Jessica said, turning to the espresso machine. "Anything to eat? Not to totally brag or whatever but the croissants are top notch today."
"They're top notch every day," Lily pointed out.
"You know I love hearing that," Jessica murmured, over the sound of the machine. "You want these to stay or to go?"
Lily looked around; the cafe was nice and quiet. "We'll stay."
She nudged Shay gently to get her attention. "Something got your attention?"
The touch seemed to startle Shay. "Ah! Er, yes Miss."
"Show me which."
She followed Shay over to the board. Shay had been looking at a flier, whose title was "SUBMISSIVES UNITED". Lily laughed at the subtitle: "You have nothing to lose but your chains, unless you want to keep them."
"Mm," Lily said, scanning the flier. "Looks like a group - they have a couple of meetings listed on here, apparently." She paused, waiting to let Shay ask if she wanted to ask.
Sure enough: "Do you - would it be okay if I went to one, Miss?"
Lily grinned, took Shay's hand and squeezed it. "Of course. Do you feel okay going by yourself?"
Shay frowned. "I'm... I don't know, Miss."
"Well," Lily said, "it's probably... probably not the kind of thing where a dominant should show up, but I bet I know a sub that would be thrilled to go with you."
"You do, Miss?"
"Maybe someone we met today, Shay?"
"Do you really think Max would want to go with me, Miss?"
Lily grinned. "Watch this."
She pulled her phone out of her pocket and texted Max:
The response came in less than three seconds:
Lily showed Shay the exchange on her phone. "Told you," she said.
"Yes Miss."
"Hey, ladies," Jessica called from the counter. "Drinks are done and I think your favorite table just opened up."
"Wonderful," Lily said, leading Shay to the counter and then the table, enjoying the mix of nervousness and awe on her face.
In Lily's book, it had been basically a perfect day. Breakfast in bed from Shay, the morning spent reading together, lunch with Evelyn and Max, shopping, afternoon coffee, some time outside, and now... dinner together. Neither she nor Shay had been in the mood for anything too fancy so they'd made some rice with marinated tofu and veggies and enjoyed a quiet, intimate meal. Now the dishes were cleaned and away, and she was very much looking forward to the rest of the evening with Shay. She took her sub's hand and gently tugged her towards the bedroom - her bedroom, although Shay had been sleeping in it as well for more than a week now. Perhaps she should start thinking of it as "their bedroom".
She led Shay into the bedroom, gently pushed her onto her back on the bed, and straddled her. Shay looked up at her, anticipation plain on her face, and laid both of her wrists flat on the mattress on either side of her head.
Lily giggled. "Not just yet, hon. There's a conversation I want to have with you first."
"Yes Miss," Shay said, but didn't move her arms at all.
"Is there something you'd like to ask for? You have to use words."
Shay blushed. "Is it the kind of conversation I can be tied up for, Miss?"
Lily sat up slightly. "You find it comforting when we're talking about things?"
"Yes, Miss."
Lily took one of Shay's delicate wrists in both hands, tapped the inside of her forearm lightly with her nails. "In that case I suppose we can, and good work asking, hon."
"Thank you, Miss," Shay said, with a shy smile. She had, under Lily's gentle but insistent guidance, been practicing asking for what she wanted and Lily was extremely proud of her progress. Lily looked at her thoughtfully for a moment, then pulled open the drawer of her bedside table. She picked up four neat bundles of coiled rope, all dyed the same navy blue, and laid them out by Shay's side.
She very much enjoyed taking her time restraining Shay, submerging herself in the tactile sense of having her sub under her control. She started with Shay's left wrist, coiling the rope around it a few times, making a neat cuff that she pulled comfortably tight. She tied the rope to one of the eyebolts set into her bedframe, pulling it so that Shay couldn't really move the arm but wouldn't be straining at all. She sat up, paused for a moment, studying Shay's face. The woman was watching her with obvious desire, chest visibly rising and falling.
Lily grinned and tied Shay's other wrist to another eyebolt, then did the same with both of her ankles, leaving her completely immobile. Her work complete, she sat back to watch Shay, who tugged lightly at her bonds, demonstrating that they were solid. Shay gave a tiny shiver; Lily could see the heady combination of helplessness and trust in her expression.
Lily leaned down, laid one hand gently on Shay's jaw, kissed her softly. Shay's cheeks colored, and Lily grinned at her. "Talking time," she said, drawing a whimper from the bound sub. She sat up a little bit so she could look down at Shay properly.
"We're going to talk about sex," she said.
"Is this the - the birds and the bees talk, Miss? I've always wondered how that works."
Lily laughed. With more confidence, Shay's sense of humor had started to surface, and she'd been more surprised than she should've been to find out how witty her sub was. She seemed to especially enjoy playing up how sheltered (and backwards, in some senses) her own upbringing had been, now that she was starting to realize the true extent for herself.
"No," she said. "About sex between you and me specifically, silly."
"Oh," Shay said, blush suddenly deepening. She had not been secretive about her desire for Lily, and Lily felt that she deserved to hear the truth about why she had not yet acted on Shay's very obvious interest.
"I'm - do you know what the word 'asexual' means, Shay?"
Shay nodded. "Not being interested in sex, Miss."
"Well, that's... that's me, Shay. I'm fine doing sexual things to you, but I don't - I don't want them done to my body. Does that make sense?"
"Not - not really, Miss, to be honest, but that's okay."
Lily smiled and leaned down to kiss Shay once more. "I really need you to understand that it doesn't mean I don't love you, or that I don't want you to submit to me or serve me. I just don't want - sex things, from anyone."
"I'll remember, Miss," Shay said. Lily let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.
"Thank you for listening," she said.
"I wasn't going anywhere, Miss," Shay said, tugging on one of the ropes for emphasis.
Lily grinned. "I've, um. This next part is a little bit embarassing but I want to tell you anyway. I've never - never actually had sex with anyone, before."
"I'm not surprised, Miss, given what you said before."
"No," Lily clarified. "I mean I've - I've never done sexual things to anyone else before, either. I... to be honest, until I met you, I didn't even know I could be interested in sexual stuff at all."
"Oh, Miss," Shay said, eyes shining. "I - I very much want to hug you."
"Well," Lily said, "this will have to do." She laid down on top of Shay, put one arm around her, and squeezed the bound sub tightly against her.
After a moment, she said:
"The reason that I told you that is... is that I want to try, with you. Tonight. But I wanted you to know that I don't - don't know what I'm doing, and I need you to help me, okay?"
"Of course, Miss!"
Lily smiled and kissed Shay's neck.
"Hm," she said. "I really should have had you get undressed before I did all this beautiful rope work."
Shay giggled. "I'm not in a hurry, Miss. You know that I - I want you, but I can wait. We have time."
Lily was unable to resist kissing her again. "I know we do, hon, but I'm feeling brave tonight so I want to. Hold still for me, okay? I'm going to undo your wrists and ankles and then I'll ask you to get undressed for me."
Shay shivered. "Yes, Miss."
Lily gave her one last kiss and started loosening the ropes binding her.
Shay, fully naked and tied to her bed, was without a doubt the most beautiful sight Lily had ever laid eyes on. She'd slipped a blindfold over the sub's eyes, and now she could see Shay trembling slightly, obviously nervous about what was to happen. That made two of them, Lily thought. She laid a hand on Shay's chest, just below her collar bone, and tried to figure out how to begin.
She knew that Shay had liked and become aroused from being hurt, and that was something Lily was comfortable with, so perhaps best to start there. She kissed Shay slowly on the lips, then on the side of the neck, and laid the tips of her nails against Shay's forearms. She'd liked that last time... she dug her nails in just a little bit, drew them across Shay's goosebumped skin. She was rewarded with a surprised gasp from Shay, and a tiny movement of the sub's hips. She kissed the side of Shay's throat again, more forcefully, with just the barest hint of the points of her teeth.
She finished dragging her nails down Shay's arms, then gently took each of Shay's small breasts in a hand. Shay stilled immediately, and Lily squeezed lightly, running a thumb over each nipple and enjoying the way the skin hardened at her touch. She squeezed a bit harder, curled her nails inward slightly, and Shay whimpered in the most delightful way. Lily grinned, watching Shay's cheeks slowly redden. Her girl was so beautifully receptive to pain, and Lily really couldn't get enough of hurting her. She tightened her grip for a moment, digging her fingernails into the silky skin of Shay's breasts, and let herself bask in Shay's futile attempt to squirm away from the spike of pain.
"Enjoying that?"
Shay nodded vigorously. "Very much, Miss."
Lily slowly let go, shifted down Shay's body slightly, wrapped a hand around each of the woman's hipbones. Shay was still so slender - much more than Lily was - in a way that made her seem delicate, which for some reason made it all the more enjoyable to have her in her power. Her apparent physical fragility served only to underscore her emotional strength, Lily supposed. Lily leaned down and took one of Shay's breasts into her mouth, wrapping her tongue around her nipple. Shay moaned softly, and Lily felt her sub tugging on her bonds. She grinned, rolling Shay's nipple around with her tongue, enjoying Shay's little squeaks of pleasure.
She let go of Shay's breast and dug her fingers into the muscles of her sub's hips. Shay's arousal was obvious - a tension in the lines of her body, a flush on her skin, a faintly spicy scent in the air, unfamiliar but instantly intoxicating. Shay tried to squeeze her thighs together, but of course she couldn't, tied as she was. Lily trailed the fingers of one hand slowly down towards Shay's sex and cupped her, feeling the warmth and wetness there.
Shay moaned again, skin burning under Lily's touch.
"M-Miss..."
"Yes, Shay?" She wished she could see Shay's eyes, but she loved having her blindfolded, so sacrifices had to be made.
Shay blushed deeply. "I want your... your fingers, Miss."
"You do?", Lily asked, pretending to be puzzled. "Where would you want my fingers, hon?"
With her other hand, she dug her nails momentarily into one of Shay's breasts.
"Here?"
She quickly took a handful of one of Shay's inner thighs and pinched, eliciting a surprised gasp of pain.
"Maybe you meant here?"
Now she wrapped her free hand firmly around Shay's throat, not applying any pressure but very present.
"Or perhaps here? You'll have to be more specific."
Shay squirmed, panting. "My... my pussy, Miss."
Lily giggled. "But they're already right there, silly. Remember I'm new at this."
Shay blushed. "Please put your fingers inside me, Miss."
Lily needed no further encouragement. She gently pressed one finger inside Shay, marvelling at just how tight and hot it felt. Shay moaned, loudly, and Lily grabbed one of her hipbones with her other hand, holding her firmly in place.
"Can't have you trying to squirm away," she said.
"No Miss," Shay said, breathless.
Lily curled her finger slightly inside her sub, testing, exploring, teasing, then joined it with a second. Shay was tensing and relaxing her muscles, and Lily at first worried that her bonds were too tight, but then she realized that her movements were in time with the squeezing Lily felt around her fingers.
"Enjoying yourself?"
Shay nodded desperately. "Yes Miss! Very yes!"
"Does it feel like when you do it yourself, or different?"
Shay shook her head. "I'd - I'd never do it myself, Miss, not without - ahh - without asking you first."
Lily felt herself tense as she realized there was a new and potent kind of control she held over Shay that she hadn't even realized existed until Shay had spoken it into being for her.
"Mmm," Lily said. "I like that very much, Shay. Let's talk about making that a rule after we're done." She felt Shay clench around her fingers as she said the words.
"Yes Miss!"
Lily let go of Shay's hip and gently - barely even making contact with her skin - stroked the skin at the apex of her labia, on either side of her sub's clit. Shay jolted as though she'd been stung. Lily grinned and stroked again, with a bit more force, still not touching her clit directly but pressing down on either side of it.
"Miss!"
"Yes, Shay?"
"That feels really good Miss!"
"I'm glad," she said, starting to build into a rhythm. She let the tip of her middle finger brush ever-so-slightly across the tip of Shay's clit and felt the sub jump again underneath her. Shay wailed, chest heaving as she panted for breath. Lily curled and stretched her fingers inside her again, keeping her steady rhythm.
"Miss! I'm going - I'm getting close, Miss, please, I'm -"
"You may orgasm, Shay," Lily said, bending down to bite into the inside of one of Shay's thighs. It was just what the sub needed - Shay cried out, whole body tensing underneath Lily, and shuddered. Lily slowed her rhythm to a stop, drew her fingers from her girl, and moved to place a gentle kiss on her lips. She slipped the blindfold up and off of Shay's face, and was surprised to see that she'd evidently been crying.
"Was that - was it alright?"
Shay nodded vigorously. "Amazing, Miss."
"Good," Lily said, preening. She was very glad she could make Shay feel good, even if she didn't think she'd ever quite understand it. She carefully undid the ropes binding Shay to the bed, then gathered her naked submissive into her arms and held her close.
Shay didn't know how long she'd drifted for, basking in the glow of post-orgasmic subspace, before she slowly came back to reality. Miss Lily was wrapped around her, warm and soft, and seemed to be half-asleep, smiling lazily. Shay had never experienced the place dominants supposedly went to - the matched pair of the subspace she'd often felt - but she guessed Miss Lily was probably there. She nuzzled her dom gently, kissed her.
"Mm," Miss Lily said. "Love you," she murmured.
Shay smiled. "I should shower before we fall asleep, Miss. And you should... maybe wash your hands."
Miss Lily favored her with a slow grin. "Good idea, Shay. Go get in the shower and I'll join you."
"T - Together, Miss?"
Miss Lily perked up slightly. "Of course together, Shay. Why not?"
"I didn't think you wanted to be naked around me, Miss."
"Ah," Miss Lily said, sitting up. "Well, there has to be a first time for that, unless I plan to stay clothed around you for the rest of our lives."
Shay was so shocked she almost walked into the doorframe.
"The - the rest of our lives, Miss?"
Miss Lily stood, stretched, and started undressing. She sounded amused: "when I said I wanted to keep you, what did you think I meant?"
"I thought you meant until... you know, until you were bored with me, Miss, or you found someone better."
Miss Lily stopped undressing and stared at her. She walked slowly over to Shay and pulled her into a tight embrace.
"Nobody could ever be better for me than you, Shay," she said. "Nobody. When I said I want to keep you, that I want you to be mine, I meant - I meant forever. I know we haven't been together long and - and there's a lot of work we still both need to do, but it's what I want."
Shay nodded, still not really understanding. Miss Lily hooked two fingers underneath her collar - her plain unclaimed collar - and looked at her thoughtfully.
"I think it's time for you to have a more permanent reminder of that," she said. "Tomorrow, we're going to get you a proper collar."
Shay, overwhelmed with emotion, with joy, clutched at Miss Lily, not sure what to say. Miss Lily held her, tucked Shay's head against her own chest, petted her. Shay leaned into her domme's steady, reassuring presence.
After a little while, Miss Lily said: "Shower?"
Reluctantly, Shay loosened her grip and let go. Miss Lily kissed her forehead and finished disrobing. At first, Shay tried to keep herself from looking too much, fighting with her own deep conditioning to avert her eyes, but - Miss Lily wouldn't mind her girl admiring her, surely? She looked up, felt herself blushing shyly, but gave herself time to appreciate just how beautiful Miss Lily really was. She felt her own pulse hasten slightly. Miss Lily looked up as she finished undressing and caught Shay watching her.
"Enjoying watching me?"
"Um, yes, Miss," Shay said, feeling guilty.
Miss Lily laughed. "You can always look, Shay, unless I expressly tell you otherwise. Understood?"
"Yes Miss."
"After we get out of the shower and before we go to sleep we're going to sit down together and write down a few more rules, I think," Miss Lily went on. "The three we've had have served us well but it's time for a couple more, I think, and that's going to be one of them."
Shay giggled. "Yes Miss." She was surprised to realize that the prospect of new rules made her... excited, like opening up new ways for her to please Miss Lily, rather than new ways to disappoint her, which was that new rules had always meant to her in the past. She was still smiling when Miss Lily took her by the hand and led her into the shower.
The next evening, Lily had Shay kneel in front of her while she sat on the living room couch. In this one thing, she had decided, she wanted to follow the old ritual. Shay bowed her head slightly, and the atmosphere of her apartment seemed somehow charged. Lily stroked her girl's hair softly and drew the box containing the collar they'd picked out together from her lap.
"Shay," she said, "will you accept me as your dominant?"
"I will, Miss," Shay said, voice unsteady. "Will y-you accept me as your submissive?"
"I will, Shay," Lily said in reply. "Present your collar to me."
Shay, hands trembling, opened the box, revealing a black nylon collar, unadorned except for a single ring attached to one side and a tiny metallic nameplate sewn into the other. On that nameplate, Lily couldn't see but knew, was "LILY REYES". Shay picked up the collar with both hands and offered it to Lily.
"Please accept me as yours, Miss," she said, head down.
Lily petted her a last time, then took the collar from her, held it in her hands for a moment. Doms were supposed to feel a bit uncertain at this moment, weren't they? She didn't, though - she couldn't think of anything she'd ever wanted more than this.
As was the way, she said nothing, but instead pulled the collar snugly around Shay's neck and buckled it carefully behind her neck.
When she'd withdrawn her hands, Shay looked up at her, eyes shining.
"Thank you, Mistress," she said.
Some years had passed now since Shay had come to belong to Mistress Lily. About a month after she'd first gotten her collar (which even now she still touched occasionally, to remind herself it was really there) Mistress Lily had formally claimed her as her own, bonding them for life, in the presence of the required three witnesses, all of whom had been extraordinarily pleased to be there: Evelyn, Max, and Mistress Lily's coworker and friend, Maple. The celebration afterwards had been... considerably larger, and Shay had had the time of her life.
David had retired from the day-to-day running of First Chapter, and left Shay mostly in charge of the store, which she supposed made her the manager. Zach, as his university course load had increased and he made his way through medical school, had less time to work there but they had become fast friends and it was an unusual day that Shay didn't talk to him at least a little bit - or to the handful of other friends she'd made since, mostly through Subs United but also through Mistress Lily's social group.
Today, she was in a particularly good mood; business had been going well - very well, in fact - and First Chapter had increasingly become a hangout and social spot for groups of subs' rights activists and artists, holding readings and meetings and similar. Even more than making sure she still had a job, though, she was glad to be able to provide the space. She'd noticed, over the past few months, the definite presence of a handful of teenagers who were obviously (to her eye) subs without unclaimed collars who had taken to meeting up in the cafe area of First Chapter. She thought back sometimes to the woman who'd yelled at Zach on her first day of work, and it made her hopeful that she was giving those teenagers a... safe space, away from parents they might not be ready to confront yet. If she'd had something similar in her own youth, she thought, her life might have turned out very differently.
Although, she reflected, she might not have met Mistress Lily then...
She opened the door to their apartment, surprised to find it unlocked, and to see that Mistress was home before her. That wasn't like her - normally she left work a bit after Shay's days ended, precisely so Shay could meet her at home. Worse, her Mistress was sitting on the couch and... crying?
Shay put down her bag, hastened to her, and knelt in front of her.
"Mistress? What's wrong?"
Mistress Lily looked up at her and sniffled, still crying, but also luminous with joy.
"The - the clinic called," she said.
Shay's heart stopped. "Wh - what did they - what did they say?"
"It took," Mistress Lily said. "We're... we're going to be moms, Shay."
Shay looked down at her Mistress's abdomen - at the tiny clump of cells even now growing there - in wonder, then back up at her face. She couldn't think of a single thing to say, so she got onto the couch next to her dominant, pulled her close, and held her for a long, long time.